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Writing Samples
Band 5

some people think that art is an essential subject for child at school, while others think it is a waste of time. discuss both side and give your opinion

Some people believe that
art
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 is an essential subject for
children
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 at school,
while
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 others think it is a waste of
time
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.
This
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 essay will discuss both views, and I believe that
art
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 plays an important role in
children
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’s development. On the one hand,
art
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 is an important subject because it helps
children
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 develop creativity and imagination. Through activities
such
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 as drawing and painting, students can express their ideas and emotions.
This
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 is especially useful for young
children
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 who may find it difficult to communicate in words.
In addition
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,
art
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 can improve concentration and problem-solving skills.
For example
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, when
children
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 create something, they need to think carefully about
colors
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colours
show examples
 and shapes.
On the other hand
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, some people argue that
art
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 is not as important as other subjects like mathematics or science. They believe that students should focus more on academic subjects that are directly related to future careers. Since school
time
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 is limited, spending too much
time
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 on
art
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 may reduce the
time
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 available for more important subjects.
As a result
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, students may not achieve good results in exams. In conclusion,
although
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 some people think that
art
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 is not necessary, I believe it is an essential subject because it helps
children
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 develop creativity and important life skills.
Therefore
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,
art
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 should remain part of the school curriculum.

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task response
For task response, you answer both sides and give your opinion, so this is good. To get a higher score, add one more clear idea for each side.
task response
For task response, your example is a bit general. Try to give a more real and specific example.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow and your paragraphs are clear. To improve, use a few more linking words, but do not use too many.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some main points need more support. Explain your ideas a little more deeply.
task response
You discuss both sides and give your opinion clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are in a logical order, so the essay is easy to read.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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