IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the number of houses built per year in two cities, Derby and Nottingham, Between 2000 and 2009. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The graph illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of homes built per year in
Derby
Use synonyms
 and Nottingham from 2000 to 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen from
bar
Correct article usage
the bar
show examples
 chart
thatthe
Correct your spelling
that the
number
Use synonyms
 of homes built in
Derby
Use synonyms
 was dramatically
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
,
whereas
Linking Words
 in another city
was
Correct pronoun usage
it was
show examples
flectuation
Replace the word
fluctuating
. Another key point, the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of homes built was in 2009 for both cities,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest was
2000
Change preposition
in 2000
show examples
 in
Derby
Use synonyms
, and
2008
Change preposition
in 2008
show examples
 in Nottingham. Looking at the details, we can notice that the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
houses
Use synonyms
 built in
Derby
Use synonyms
 was in 2009,
then
Linking Words
2008
Change preposition
in 2008
show examples
at
Change preposition
, with
show examples
 approximately 345
houses
Use synonyms
,
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 280
houses
Use synonyms
, respectively.
while
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the lowest of
houses
Use synonyms
 built in 2000, and 2001,
then
Linking Words
2002
Punctuation problem
2002,
show examples
 at nearly 45
houses
Use synonyms
, 70
houses
Use synonyms
, respectively. Looking at Nottingham city points, it can
notice
Wrong verb form
be noticed
show examples
 that the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
houses
Use synonyms
 built was in 2009,
then
Linking Words
 2007 at 250
houses
Use synonyms
, 190
houses
Use synonyms
, respectively.
while
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the lowest of
houses
Use synonyms
 built in 2006,
then
Linking Words
2008
Punctuation problem
2008,
show examples
 at approximately 5
houses
Use synonyms
, 10
houses
Use synonyms
, respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, derby, houses with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • chart
  • bar
  • year
  • years
  • period
  • city
  • Derby
  • Nottingham
  • number
  • houses
  • built
  • go up
  • rise
  • go down
  • fall
  • higher
  • lower
  • more
  • less
  • same
  • different
  • overall
  • generally
  • in general
  • in contrast
  • whereas
  • while
  • during
  • from
  • to
  • between
  • the chart shows
  • it shows
  • notable
  • peaks
  • troughs
  • comparison
  • data
  • report
  • paragraph
  • sentence
  • linking words
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