IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries today, crime novels and TV crime dramas are becoming more and more popular. Why do you think these book and TV shows are popular? What is your opinion of crime fiction and TV crime dramas?

This
Linking Words
 topic is very important
nowdays
Correct your spelling
nowadays
. Many
people
Use synonyms
 have
diffrenet
Correct your spelling
different
 options about it. In my opinion, I think because
people
Use synonyms
likes
Correct subject-verb agreement
like
show examples
this
Linking Words
mestrey
Correct your spelling
messy
 side.
Ibelieve
Correct your spelling
I believe
this
Linking Words
 idea
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is not good for your mental
.
Check wording
health.
show examples
For example
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
 45% of
people
Use synonyms
 get mental proplem for Tv crime shows.
Linking Words
Also
Punctuation problem
Also,
show examples
 some
resk
Correct your spelling
news
 about your
helth
Correct your spelling
health
. Another reason is that
helth resk
Correct your spelling
health risk
.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 when you watching crimes
movie
Punctuation problem
movie,
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
feels
Correct subject-verb agreement
feel
show examples
 tension and stress. In conclusion, I believe that
Tv
Fix capitalization
TV
show examples
 crime. It is bad for your
helth
Correct your spelling
health
. Everyone should consider
this
Linking Words
.

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task response
Answer both parts more clearly. Say why people like crime stories, and then give your opinion.
task response
Add one clear main idea in each body part. Then explain it with a simple example.
task response
Your example about 45% of people is not clear or trusted. Use a simple real example or explain your own idea.
coherence and cohesion
Make your ideas connect better. Use simple link words like First, Also, For example, and In conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Write full sentences. Some parts are too short or not complete, so the meaning is hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Put similar ideas together. Do not repeat health and mental risk in two separate unclear points.
task response
You gave your opinion clearly: you think crime TV is bad for health.
coherence and cohesion
You used an introduction and a conclusion.
task response
You tried to support your ideas with examples.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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