Some people think that competition a t work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

There is ongoing debate about whether competing with each other at work, at school
and
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, and
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daily
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in daily
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life is a good thing, and other finds cooperating is benificial than competing. Almost in every aspect of
life
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life,
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we found our self whether cooperating or competing with each
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others
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other
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.
While
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competing with colleagues and
friend
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friends
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might enhance the
overall
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result for the
the
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apply
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needed
task
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,
i
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I
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believe cooperating with each
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others
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other
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may ease the
requied
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required
task
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by
seperating
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separating
the
task
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into smaller tasks, and
this
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may prevent some
miscomunication
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miscommunication
problems. On the one hand, competing with each
others
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have a lot of forms that we can see in our
daliy
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daily
life
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such
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, such
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as competing between brothers, employees and friends.
Moreover
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, competing could raise the evaluation between the
indivisuals
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individuals
,
for example
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,
Aramco
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the Aramco
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company has only one position available for
manager
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a manager
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in
oil
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the oil
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and gas industry, and there
is
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are
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ten engeniers that have to compete with each
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others
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other
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to gain the position, and the final result should be positive
sice that
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since
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everyone will improve to
achive
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achieve
this
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goal
and
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, and
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the best
engenier
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engineer
will get the position.
On the other hand
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, cooperating with each other
have
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has
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notable
sucsses
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success
results in almost all
feilds
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fields
, since it is like an engine for all the companies and houses that we can see daily.
In addition
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, difficult tasks could be separets to smaller tasks to be easier to solve
at the end
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of the day,
for instance
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, two brothers have a huge storage in their house, and their father asked them to take out the usable things
outside
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from
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the storage to find out how to use them later in other aspects.
This
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situation suggests clearly that cooperating with each other is the most suitable thing to do. In my opinion,
while
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compeiting
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competing
might raise the
posibility
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possibility
of
evoloving
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evolving
by
make
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making
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the most of the indivisuals potentials, cooperating with each
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others
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other
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should
gives
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give
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better results since every
indivisual
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individual
is giving his experts and dedecations in the same
task
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.
This
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should increase the
posibility
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possibility
of finishing the mission with the best
overcome
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outcome
. In conclusion, even
that
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though
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competing with each
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others
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other
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could raise the
indivisuals capabilty
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individual's capability
, cooperating should be the better way since it is the way that every
indivisual
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individual
could share his
experince
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experience
with his
other cooleuges
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colleagues
or friends.

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task response
Give a clearer answer from the start. Say clearly which side you support and keep this idea the same in all parts.
task response
Explain your main ideas more. Some ideas are good, but they need one more step to show why they are true.
task response
Use examples that feel more real and more direct. Your examples are linked to the topic, but some are too long or not fully clear.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph follow one simple plan: main idea, explanation, example.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with easy words like first, also, for example, however, and in conclusion, but do not use too many.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence connection. Some sentences are hard to follow because the grammar and word form make the meaning less clear.
task response
You answered both sides of the question and gave your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You used examples to support your ideas in both main paragraphs.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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