IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

These days a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples form your own knowledge or experience.

In
current
Correct article usage
the current
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moderan
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modern
 era substantial number of people are choosing alternative
method
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methods
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 of medical treatments rather
then
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 visting their physicians.Consequences of opting out differnt options are promising. First and foremost,medical science
have
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has
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 done wonders for
humen being
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humankind
years
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; years
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 of
reserch
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research
 and development are paying off currently. Even when
tradditional
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traditional
 or latest
solution
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solutions
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 are in
place
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place,
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 there is ample room for improvement.
Allopethic
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Allopathic
 medication and procedures
remains
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remain
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 the backbone of
health related
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health-related
 issue treatment
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; however
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however
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however,
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 the
dieseases
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diseases
 and death rates are still
on
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apply
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high
and
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, and
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results
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the results
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 are not
much
Rephrase
very
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 promising .
General
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The general
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 public is leaning towards
Hpmeopathic
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Homoeopathic
, ayuwedra and
numereous
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numerous
 household treatment
methodolgies
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methodologies
,
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;
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these are
compartively
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comparatively
 cheap and easy to adopt.
Furthermore
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, the increasing interest in alternative treatments has the potential to alleviate the strain on traditional
healthcare
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 services. As more individuals explore self-care options and non-conventional therapies, the burden on hospitals and clinics may diminish, allowing
healthcare
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 professionals to allocate their resources more efficiently.
Consequently
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,
this
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 shift could result in reduced waiting times for patients and improved
overall
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 effectiveness in the
healthcare
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 sector. In conclusion, the growing popularity of unconventional remedies signifies a significant change in how individuals address their health concerns. By embracing alternative treatments, people not only gain access to more tailored
healthcare
Use synonyms
 experiences but
also
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 contribute to improving the efficiency of mainstream medical facilities.

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task response
Give a clear answer in the first part. Say if this is positive or negative, or both, in a direct way.
task response
Add one real and clear example to support your main idea.
task response
Explain your ideas more. Some points are too general and need more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more carefully. Some sentences jump too fast from one point to another.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph unity. Make sure each paragraph has one main idea only.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
Your essay stays on the topic most of the time.
task response
You give more than one reason for your view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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