Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people state that
parents
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should guide their kids to be great members of humanity. Meanwhile, others believe that school is more responsable of
this
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. I personally believe
parents
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are more eligablly better at
this
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. Slight amount of people think that sending kids to educational spaces
create
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creates
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a better effect on
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child's
Check wording
children's
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communication. Whilst
deyilng
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dealing
with other kids makes them open to plenty of ideas. And get better education rather
at
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than at
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home.
On the other hand
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, Others think that
parents
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are mostly better at teaching their own
child
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.
Firstly
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, they create a great parent-
child
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relationship. And the
child
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would be more comfortable sharing his own ideas about the community.
For example
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, stating their thoughts about different situations and what they think is the right
act
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action
. Which I think is
much
Rephrase
more
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accurate for a
child
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's development in
this
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topic.
To sum up
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,
Both
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both
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views create a significant
affect
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effect
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on a
child
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. Schools are a big space
that
Correct pronoun usage
where
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they face different of opinons in.
In addition
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,
parents
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aswell teaches what is right to be taught. Which
this
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essay agree with
.
Change the punctuation
?
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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about school and parents, but the ideas are short.
task response
Give a clearer opinion. Your view is there, but it should stay clear in all parts of the essay.
task response
Use one or two real and clear examples to support your main ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph follow one main idea, then explain it more.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order. Some sentences stop too early, so the flow is not smooth.
task response
You discuss both views, so you answer the main question.
task response
Your opinion is clear in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words like meanwhile, firstly, on the other hand, and to sum up.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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