Living in big cities is bad for people's health. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

There is always pollution in the big
cities
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,
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;
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therefore
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, it negatively affects people's
health
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. The question is,
Do
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do
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the people who live in the big
cities
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have
issues
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with their
health
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?
,
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apply
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In my opinion, yes, they might
get
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have
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issues
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with their
health
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because there is higher pollution in the huge
cities
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than
the
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in the
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countryside. In
this
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essay, I am going to introduce the
issues
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that might affect people who live in the country's capitals and give my opinion. First of all, there are many traffic jams in the huge
cities
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,
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;
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therefore
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, you might get
issues
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with your mental
health
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because the traffic jams waste your time and your
health
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,
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. As
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as a result
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, the trips take about 15 minutes in the countryside
,
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;
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however
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, in the huge
cities
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take
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, they take
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more than an hour.
For instance
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, my friend used to live in a village
,
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.
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However
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, he got a good offer from a company in the capital city
,
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;
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therefore
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, he moved to live there.
As a result
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, he got issue in his mental
health
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because of the
trafficjams
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traffic jams
and
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in
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, in
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addition, the
impure
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polluted
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air.
However
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, the companies who placed in the big
cities
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always pay higher than other companies
,
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;
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moreover
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, you will be able to meet a huge community,
also
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. perfect
health
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care.
For instance
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, when I moved to live in the big city, I
find
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found
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professional doctors.
In addition
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, I get paid more than I used to. In conclusion, living in big
cities
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is better than living in the countryside, even though
,
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apply
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you might get issue with your
health
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,
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;
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however
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, you will find good
health
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care and good pay.

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task response
Make your main answer more clear from the start. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree, and keep this same idea in all parts.
task response
Add one more clear idea about health, such as air, stress, noise, or lack of exercise, and explain it well.
task response
Use examples that are more direct and more full. Show how the example supports your main point.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, but some ideas do not connect well. Use linking words in a careful way.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each body paragraph. Now, the second body paragraph changes direction and weakens your answer.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and punctuation. Some long sentences are hard to follow, so the reader may lose your meaning.
task response
You answer the topic and give your opinion.
task response
You use an example about your friend, and this helps support your point.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words like first of all, for instance, and in conclusion.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • air pollution
  • heavy traffic
  • breathing problems
  • heart disease
  • mental health
  • long working hours
  • high stress
  • noise pollution
  • public transport
  • health services
  • green spaces
  • active lifestyle
  • medical care
  • poor housing
  • city planning
What to do next:
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