IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

It is thought by many people that rivalry
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 different
sides
Check wording
aspects
show examples
 of life is neck thing. Others object
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
to this
show examples
 claim and comment that we
suppose
Wrong verb form
are supposed
show examples
 to participate ourselves. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will provide
wide
Correct article usage
a wide
show examples
 knowledge about both claims and give my own opinion. First of all,
competetion
Correct your spelling
competition
 between employers or students
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 a
competetive
Correct your spelling
competitive
 environment that supply individual to be the best
one
Use synonyms
 in
his
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 own area. It assumes
this
Linking Words
 condition encourages
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
 to be
more
Rephrase
apply
show examples
better. When someone
see
Correct subject-verb agreement
sees
show examples
 that there's
one
Use synonyms
 better than
him
Punctuation problem
him,
show examples
 even if both of them work in
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 sector or may
in
Verb problem
be in
show examples
 the same
place
Punctuation problem
place,
show examples
 he literally
think
Correct subject-verb agreement
thinks
show examples
 that there's a risk in his employment. In
2007
Punctuation problem
2007,
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there is
Verb problem
apply
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a survey made from CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY about 300 companies in
Landon
Correct your spelling
London
 that have a
competetions
Replace the word
competitive
 environment
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 they
saw
Verb problem
found
show examples
 that these companies have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high
productive
Replace the word
productivity
 from workers. After that, sometimes it demands to vie with others to protect our place.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there is a widespread
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
audience see it effective and efficient to be
one
Use synonyms
 hand to accomplish the tasks. That will make an
extraordinary
Rephrase
extraordinarily
show examples
 strong
we
Check wording
force we
show examples
 can achieve from cooperate with others.
Next,
Linking Words
we determine all
success
Correct article usage
the success
show examples
story
Fix the agreement mistake
stories
show examples
 we will find that
it's start
Wrong verb form
it starts
show examples
 from
team work
Correct your spelling
teamwork
.
This
Linking Words
 is a unique feature that everyone
hould
Correct your spelling
should
 have. With
Correct article usage
a teammate
show examples
teammate
Add a comma
teammate,
show examples
 you can manufacture
impeccable
Correct article usage
an impeccable
show examples
 product that you can't do
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 yourself. As it
Verb problem
is said
show examples
said
Punctuation problem
said,
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 hand can't clap. In my own opinion,
competetion
Correct your spelling
competition
 and
cooperate
Replace the word
cooperation
 are
inpired
Correct your spelling
inspired
 to be more
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
 for
your
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
your work environment.
At the end
Linking Words
 I
recommand
Correct your spelling
recommend
 to have both things.

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly. Say why competition is good, why working together is good, and then give your own view in a clear way.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main ideas easier to follow. Use one clear topic sentence for each body part.
task response
Support each main point with a simple and clear example. Some ideas are there, but they need more explanation.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple way, like First, On the other hand, For example, and In my view.
task response
Write a stronger ending. Your last line should clearly say which side you agree with more and why.
task response
You discussed both views and gave your opinion, so you answered the full question.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You tried to use an example about companies to support your point.
coherence and cohesion
There is a clear basic order from start to end.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
What to do next:
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