IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

One of your English-speaking friends who lives in the same town as you has asked for your advice about learning a new sport. Write an email to your friend. In your email • recommend a sport that you think would be a good fit for him • explain how he could learn it • suggest learning the sport together You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ..........,

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Dear John, I hope you are doing great! I received your e-mail where you asked for my advice about learning a new sport. I think
tennis
Use synonyms
 is a great sport that fits you. I would be happy to share my experience. First of all, I have been playing
tennis
Use synonyms
 since I came to Montreal. I was searching for a sport that could transform me into another person
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
while
Linking Words
 getting in shape.
Tennis
Use synonyms
 was exactly the best choice for me, and I think that it is going to fulfil you. At the time, I was trying to learn how to play, but it is hard to learn by yourself.
Then
Linking Words
, I was looking for a person who
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 teach me how to play
tennis
Use synonyms
 on Facebook. I was lucky to find a professional who is good at teaching
tennis
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 based on reviews, and he was an excellent teacher. I strongly recommend that you find a person who can teach you how to play
tennis
Use synonyms
. Alternatively, I would really enjoy teaching you if you want.3
While
Linking Words
 I am teaching you, we can spend time together, and we can hang out after classes. I am looking forward to hearing from you. If you want extra information, just let me know,
I
Correct word choice
and I
show examples
can provide you
more
Change preposition
with more
show examples
. I hope to see you soon, mate! Best wishes, Ibrahim

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task response
Score: 7. Your ideas are clear, but say more clearly why tennis is good for John. For example, link it to his needs or what he likes. Also, make the plan to play together more clear: say a day, time, or place.
coherence and cohesion
Score: 7. The order is mostly good. Put the part about learning with a teacher in one paragraph, and the part about you and John playing together in a new paragraph. Do not use '3' before 'While'.
task response
Some lines are not natural: 'fits you' can be 'would suit you'; 'fulfil you' can be 'be right for you'; and 'provide you more' can be 'give you more information.'
coherence and cohesion
Use simple links to make the ideas flow: 'First', 'Then', 'Also', and 'Finally'. Keep each paragraph on one main point.
task response
You answer all three parts: you say tennis is a good sport, tell John how to learn it, and ask to learn together.
coherence and cohesion
The letter has a clear start, middle, and end. The greeting and closing are friendly and right for an email to a friend.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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