IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowdays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case ? What could be the disadvantages of being self- employed?

The number of people working as
a
Correct article usage
apply
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self-employed grows constantly.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine the main causes of
this
Linking Words
 trend and consider disadvanteges of being self-employed. It is clear
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 that the vast majority of self-employed individuals work from home.
This
Linking Words
suggest
Correct subject-verb agreement
suggests
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 that people are more flexible in their schedule.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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 if I have kids, I have time to cook them
breakfest
Correct your spelling
breakfast
 and drive them to school without being hurry.

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task response
Answer both parts of the question. You wrote only one main reason and did not write about the bad sides of self-employment.
task response
Add one full body paragraph about the disadvantages, such as no stable pay, long hours, and stress.
task response
Develop your ideas more. Each main point needs an explanation and a clear example.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a short start, but it has no ending. Add a clear last sentence to finish your answer.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear paragraphing: introduction, reason paragraph, disadvantage paragraph, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, because, for example, however, and in conclusion.
task response
You introduced the topic clearly in the first sentence.
task response
You gave one relevant reason: self-employed people can have a more free time plan.
task response
You used an example about children and school, which helps the reader understand your idea.
coherence and cohesion
Your writing follows a basic order from topic to reason to example.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • freelance
  • gig economy
  • solopreneur
  • unpredictable income
  • work-life balance
  • scalable business
  • economic downturn
  • diverse skill set
  • job satisfaction
  • financial security
  • health insurance
  • retirement plans
  • paid leave
  • isolation
What to do next:
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