IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

With a growing population, many countries believe that we should focus on producing gm foods. What are the advantages and disadvantages of doing this?

Genetically Modified foods
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 the name
suggests
Punctuation problem
suggests,
show examples
 are foods genetically altered to achieve
certain
Correct article usage
a certain
show examples
 purpose. In some
cases
Add a comma
cases,
show examples
 it's just a matter of quality, as
per
Change preposition
with
show examples
 fruits and some other vegetables. In others, especially, products that are
animal based
Correct your spelling
animal-based
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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 all kinds of meat, chicken and
dairies
Check wording
dairy
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, it has
been already
Correct word order
already been
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 used with the objective of gaining in quantity and
production
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 kind of modification brings benefits regarding costs and profits.
While
Linking Words
 the organic
production
Use synonyms
 is limited in terms of numbers and even
weigthing
Correct your spelling
weighing
, a GM
production
Use synonyms
 has a much larger
production
Use synonyms
 capacity and with that offer that product for a much more competitive price. The main advantage in
this
Linking Words
 kind of
production
Use synonyms
 is certainly the possibility of serving a large scale of markets with a great value.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, researchers
haven
Use the right word
have
show examples
 been studying
harmfull
Correct your spelling
harmful
 effects of
gm
Fix capitalization
GM
show examples
 food's consumption. As is
know
Wrong verb form
known
show examples
, the intake of hormones over the years has been pointed
as
Verb problem
out as
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 one of the main causes of
tumors
Change the spelling
tumours
show examples
, leading to an
increase
Replace the word
increased
 number of cancer
diagnosis
Fix the agreement mistake
diagnoses
show examples
 in
pacients
Correct your spelling
patients
 with no history of health issues. That would
therefore
Linking Words
 be the biggest disadvantage of doing
this
Linking Words
. Some health professionals, students and specialists consider
gm
Fix capitalization
GM
show examples
 food one of the biggest
disaster
Fix the agreement mistake
disasters
show examples
 of the food industry. The tragedy has caused not only an absurd rise
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the number of
cancer
Fix the agreement mistake
cancers
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 in the young population
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 it has been
prooved
Correct your spelling
proven
 to be extremely severe and lead to death. In the
european
Fix capitalization
European
show examples
 market, several
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
regulations and investments in small and organic producers
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the way found to balance the scale and offer
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 at least a choice option as
per say
Change preposition
such
show examples
.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about good and bad points, but some ideas are too short.
task response
Give clearer examples. For example, name one crop or one food and explain how it helps food supply.
task response
Be careful with very strong claims about health. If you give a bad point, explain it in a balanced way.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer essay plan: introduction, one paragraph for advantages, one for disadvantages, then a short conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, as a result, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main point support the topic sentence. Some sentences go far from the main idea.
task response
You answered both parts of the question: advantages and disadvantages.
task response
Your main idea is clear: GM food can increase amount and lower price.
coherence and cohesion
There is a basic paragraph order, and the reader can follow your essay.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words like while, in the other hand, and therefore.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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