Some countries have an ever-increasing proportion of the population who are aged 15 and younger. What is your opinion of the current and future effects it may have in those countries?

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Introduction

this

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modern era, the number of teenagers in the age less than or equal to 15 make up a large portion of the

population

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While

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some

people

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argue that they will contribute greatly to the

future

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, have a part in generating society's betterment, others are considerably concern for various alarming effects of the

population

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explosion.

This

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essay aims to elucidate these differing perspectives before offering my own viewpoint.

Body paragraph 1

Examining the former opinion,

people

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ought to recognise greatly that

population

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growth increases the demand for education and healthcare services.

This

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due to

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the fact that the number of youngsters grows, the need for schools, teachers , and facilities for healthcare

also

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rises.

Consequently

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, they will put heavy pressure on governments.

Nonetheless

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this

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phenomenon will lead to a well-educated and healthy workforce in the

future

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In addition

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, another point to emphasise is that a higher

population

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leads to numerous demographic positive influences. It is true that as long as administrations create sufficient job opportunities for the youth, they will gain national economic advantages.

Moreover

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, a high quantity of residents in the

future

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will stimulate consumer spending and

overall

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economic growth.

Body paragraph 2

Considering the negative effect of a high

population

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of young

people

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, the rates of unemployment will increase. As there will be no

job

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jobs

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, crime rates will grow dramatically, leading to the deterioration of the national economy.

Moreover

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, the environment will

also

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be affected significantly. Simply because overpopulation will end up with a lack of accommodation, facilities and food supplies.

This

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will lead to deforestation for home and biodiversity destruction for residents' food. What is more, a high proportion of waste would be discharged to the ecosystem, causing global polution is gradually become worse.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the increasing proportion of young

people

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in some countries presents both challenges and opportunities now and in the

future

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quynhtranhbh

Mar 31, 2026

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Task response

Score: 5. Answer the question more directly. It asks for your opinion, but your own view is not clear enough. State in the first part if you think the good effects are greater than the bad effects, or the other way round.

Task response

Give one or two real, clear examples. For example, say how a country can train young people and create jobs, or what may happen if it cannot do this. This will make your ideas stronger.

Task response

Develop each point more. The point about crime is too simple: not all young people without work will commit crime. Explain that lack of work may increase the risk of crime for some people.

Task response

Your last line is too short. Sum up your own view and say what governments should do, such as spend more on schools, health care, and jobs.

Coherence and cohesion

Score: 5. The main order is clear, but the first body part is hard to follow. It starts with pressure on schools and health care, then moves to future good points. Make the order clearer: first present problems, then future gains.

Coherence and cohesion

Use topic lines that show the main idea of each part. For example: “In the short term, a large young population can put pressure on public services.” Then explain it.

Coherence and cohesion

Some links do not fit the meaning. “Nonetheless” means “but”, yet the next idea is not a clear opposite. Use simple links like “However”, “As a result”, and “For this reason” only when they fit.

Coherence and cohesion

Avoid very long sentences with many ideas. Split them into two short sentences so the reader can see the cause and result more easily.

Task response

You give a clear view that this change can bring both good and bad results.

Task response

You talk about effects now, such as more need for schools and health care, and effects later, such as more workers and more spending.

Coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an end.

Coherence and cohesion

You use linking words such as “Consequently”, “Nonetheless”, “Moreover”, and “In conclusion” to guide the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ever-increasing
proportion
vibrant
innovative
strain
cater
predominantly
unemployment
adequately
GDP (Gross Domestic Product)
sustainability
demographic
reforms
social unrest
illusioned
dynamic
global stage

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Some countries have an ever-increasing proportion of the population who are aged 15 and younger. What is your opinion of the current and future effects it may have in those countries?

In many countries, young adults are engaged in some kinds of work. Some people regard this as completely wrong. Others consider it as a valuable experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. Discuss both views

These days, in many countries, fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this, and how could the problem be solved?

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

You have bought some clothing online and are not satisfied with your purchase. Write a letter to the company that you bought the clothing from. In your email -give details of the purchase -describe the problem -explain why you need a replacement urgently

Scientist agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.