Some countries have an ever-increasing proportion of the population who are aged 15 and younger. What is your opinion of the current and future effects it may have in those countries?

One of the most pressing contemporary concerns is the increasing proportion of people aged 15 and younger in some countries. There has been a significant rise in the number of young individuals in these nations.
While
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this
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brings both advantages and disadvantages, I believe that its long-term benefits are more significant. On the one hand, a country with a high proportion of young people can have a significant advantage in terms of its future workforce. First and foremost, these young individuals will become the main contributors to the economy and play a crucial role in building and developing the nation.
In addition
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,
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fulfills
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vital functions in promoting national development, as a large youth population can serve as a means of boosting productivity and innovation.
Moreover
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, it is
also
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a powerful tool for long-term economic growth.
Therefore
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, the upsides of
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should not be overlooked.
On the other hand
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, a rapidly growing young population can place significant pressure on a country’s resources. It may lead to higher unemployment rates, increased homelessness, and a lower quality of life if there are not enough job opportunities.
Consequently
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, the government may have to spend more on social welfare, which can slow down economic development.
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In
conclusion,
while
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causes some challenges, I believe that its long-term benefits outweigh the drawbacks, as it can contribute to economic growth and national development.

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task response
Answer both time parts more clearly: say what is happening now and what may happen later.
task response
Add one or two real examples to support your ideas.
task response
Explain your main ideas more. Some points are too general.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences for each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, because, so, however.
coherence and cohesion
Check small mistakes at the end, like missing letters in the conclusion.
task response
You give a clear opinion and keep it through the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are in a logical order.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ever-increasing
  • proportion
  • vibrant
  • innovative
  • strain
  • cater
  • predominantly
  • unemployment
  • adequately
  • GDP (Gross Domestic Product)
  • sustainability
  • demographic
  • reforms
  • social unrest
  • illusioned
  • dynamic
  • global stage
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