Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative trend?

Nowadays, many
children
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spend a large amount of
time
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on their
smartphones
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every day.
This
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is mainly because
smartphones
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provide entertainment
and
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, and
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parents often allow easy access to them. In my opinion,
this
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is largely a negative trend because it can harm
children
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’s health, studies, and social skills. There are several reasons why
children
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spend so much
time
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on
smartphones
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.
First,
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these devices offer endless entertainment,
such
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as games, videos, and social media, which easily attract young users.
As a result
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,
children
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may use them for hours without noticing the
time
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.
Second,
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many parents are busy with work or household responsibilities, so
smartphones
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are sometimes used to keep
children
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quiet and occupied.
This
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makes excessive phone use more common in daily life. I believe
this
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is a negative trend
overall
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. One major reason is that spending too much
time
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on
smartphones
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can damage
children
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’s physical health.
For example
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, they may exercise less, sleep poorly, and suffer from eye strain.
In addition
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, excessive smartphone use can reduce their ability to concentrate on schoolwork.
Children
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who spend too much
time
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online may
also
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communicate less with family members and friends in real life, which can weaken their social skills. In conclusion,
children
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spend long hours on
smartphones
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because these devices are highly entertaining
and
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, and
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parents often rely on them for convenience.
However
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, I consider
this
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a negative development since it can negatively affect
children
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’s health, education, and social interaction.

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task response
For task response, your answer covers both parts of the question well. To get a higher score, add one more clear and real example.
task response
For task response, your ideas are clear, but they are a bit simple. Try to explain each main point a little more deeply.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow and the order is good. To improve more, use a few more linking words in a natural way.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each paragraph has one clear main idea. To reach a higher band, make the support for each idea a little fuller.
task response
For task response, you answer why children use smartphones and give a clear opinion that it is a negative trend.
task response
For task response, your reasons are relevant and stay on the topic all the way.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your linking is smooth and easy to understand.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • screen time
  • digital devices
  • smartphone addiction
  • online interactions
  • developmental impact
  • physical health
  • mental well-being
  • academic performance
  • parental supervision
  • proliferation of apps
  • engaging content
  • excessive use
  • sedentary lifestyle
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