IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some think newspapers are the best method for reading the news while others think other media is better. Discuss both views anf give your opinion ?

While
Linking Words
 some people argue that reading up news from a
newspaper
Use synonyms
 is more preferable, some others
prefers
Correct subject-verb agreement
prefer
show examples
 surfing
information
Use synonyms
 from
Use synonyms
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
. Despite the less distraction that comes with reading
Use synonyms
newspaper
Correct article usage
a newspaper
show examples
,
easy
Correct article usage
the easy
show examples
 accessibility of
media
Use synonyms
 cannot
overemphasized
Wrong verb form
be overemphasised
show examples
. I strongly believe that
Use synonyms
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
 is
most
Rephrase
more
show examples
 preferable
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 reading up
informations
Check wording
information
show examples
 than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
newspapers. On
one
Use synonyms
 hand,
newspaper
Use synonyms
 is becoming
obsolette
Correct your spelling
obsolete
 with the
fast growing
Correct your spelling
fast-growing
world
Use synonyms
 technology.
However
Linking Words
, getting
information
Use synonyms
 from the
newspaper
Use synonyms
 can be done without distractions from critics,
media
Use synonyms
 advertisements,
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and light
source
Check wording
sources
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, if
one
Use synonyms
 buys a
newspaper
Use synonyms
, with or without light and internet
network
Check wording
access
show examples
, no matter the location,
one
Use synonyms
 can know what happens around the
world
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, most job vacancies are advertised
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 newspapers rather than on
media
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it can be
inconveniencing
Correct word choice
inconvenient
show examples
 getting
Use synonyms
newspaper
Check wording
newspapers
show examples
 outside the home in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 case of extreme weakness or
illhealth
Correct your spelling
ill health
.
This
Linking Words
 makes it almost impossible for
one
Use synonyms
 to be updated with
world
Use synonyms
 happenings. But despite the drawbacks, our aged parents still
prefers
Correct subject-verb agreement
prefer
show examples
 to read newspapers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, technology has taken over the
world
Use synonyms
. With
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 network and internet-enabling mobile devices,
one
Use synonyms
 can read
up
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 news wherever they are. The use of
media
Use synonyms
 to surf
information
Use synonyms
 gives room for
first hand
Correct your spelling
first-hand
information
Use synonyms
 of recent
happends
Correct your spelling
events
, enhances
accessibilty
Correct your spelling
accessibility
 of all country sites, gives insight
of
Change preposition
into
show examples
 people's opinions, creates
avenue
Correct article usage
an avenue
show examples
 for
one
Use synonyms
 to put in their contributions.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the use of
media
Use synonyms
 gives clear
information
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 a
newspaper
Use synonyms
 update.
For example
Linking Words
, the recent ongoing Iran war can only be
readup
Wrong verb form
read up
show examples
 on
Use synonyms
newspaper
Correct article usage
the newspaper
show examples
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 the virtual reports and impacts are felt more on
media
Use synonyms
. It is more realistic watching
vaccination
Correct article usage
the vaccination
show examples
 program going on in different centres over a popcorn on television than reading up without
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 understanding on
newspaper
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
in as much
Correct your spelling
inasmuch
 as we can't totally erase the use of
Use synonyms
newspaper
Check wording
newspapers
show examples
 to read up
news
Change preposition
on the news
show examples
, I strongly believe that the
media
Use synonyms
 is most preferable.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more even way. You talk more about media than newspapers.
task response
Make your opinion very clear from the start and keep it the same all through the essay.
task response
Add more clear and real examples to support each main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use one clear main idea in each paragraph, then explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking words are used, but some ideas do not join well. Make the flow smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order. A few parts feel hard to follow or do not fit the main point well.
task response
You answer both views and give your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You use examples to support your ideas in some parts.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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