IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

line graph of public transport use by age and place of resident in 2016.

The line graph illustrates the percentage of people using public transportation in 2016, classified by age and
society
Check wording
socioeconomic status
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.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 citizens who are using local transit
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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so it was the highest in the large society,
while
Linking Words
 other residents
users
Use synonyms
 of general transports were fluctuated over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2016. Between age of 0-15 years,
users
Use synonyms
 of transit in the big city started at 40% , and it increased rapidly reached the peak at around 69% between 31 and 45 years,
However
Linking Words
,
users
Use synonyms
 in another place begun at roughly 15%,and it experienced a slight climb, after that it decreased to the same point which was almost 15%. The consumer of public transportation in
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
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 city experienced a significant
fell
Replace the word
fall
 at 42% from age 46 and 60,
while
Linking Words
another
Correct determiner usage
other
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 residents went down about 12%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
users
Use synonyms
 of some transportation in the large resident go up around 11%
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the least
faced
Verb problem
experienced
show examples
 a slight fall.

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task response
Write a clearer overview. Say the main trends in one or two lines.
task response
Compare all groups more clearly. Show how the big city and other places are different at each age.
task response
Use more exact data from the graph to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Put ideas in a simple order: start, middle, end of the age groups.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words well, like overall, while, then, and by contrast.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence form. Some lines are hard to follow because the grammar breaks the flow.
task response
You included an introduction and an overall idea.
task response
You used some numbers from the graph.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has clear paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
You tried to compare the two groups.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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