IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

In some countries, more and more adults are continuing to live with their parents even after they have completed education and found jobs. Do the advantages outweight disadvantages?

In recent years, there has been a growing debate about whether young adults continue to live with their parents even after they
completed
Verb problem
have completed
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education
Correct determiner usage
their education
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 and found jobs,
while
Linking Words
 many find
this
Linking Words
 trend is beneficial, others believe
that
Linking Words
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
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 decreasing the ability to be
an
Correct article usage
apply
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independent. One main reason is that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 many individuals prefer living with their families because of life expenses
, over
Punctuation problem
. Over
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 the
last
Linking Words
 few decades
everything
Punctuation problem
, everything
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became
Wrong verb form
has become
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 difficult compared to the past, which
is increase
Wrong verb form
has increased
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 the number of people who continue living with
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 parents.
Linking Words
this
Fix capitalization
This
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 approach is highly beneficial to reduce the expenditure for one individual,
for example
Linking Words
, young adults in Saudi Arabia do not move out of their
families
Check wording
families'
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 houses until they get married,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 leads them to develop their financial system. 
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are several drawbacks to
this
Linking Words
 trend, especially when people
not
Verb problem
are not
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 responsible or independent, it may have a negative consequence on them, which increases the
precentages
Correct your spelling
percentages
 of homelessness,
also
Linking Words
 could cause
a
Correct article usage
apply
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mental health problems as loneliness and depression. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 living alone is beneficial for
individuals
Punctuation problem
individuals,
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 it
also
Linking Words
 could be
a
Correct article usage
apply
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harmful in some ways,

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task response
Give a clear answer in the first part and keep the same view to the end. Say if the good points are more than the bad points.
task response
Add one more main idea for each side and explain it more. Your ideas are there, but they need more depth.
task response
Use examples that clearly match your point. The Saudi Arabia example is useful, but explain more how it helps young adults.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body part start with one clear main point. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a simple and correct way. Some lines jump too fast from one idea to another.
coherence and cohesion
Your last body part has ideas about not being independent, homelessness, and mental health, but they are not fully linked. Focus on one line of thought and develop it.
task response
You answer the topic and talk about both good and bad sides.
task response
You include a real world example, which helps support your point.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
There is a basic clear order from start to end.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial benefits
  • emotional support
  • intergenerational bonding
  • shared responsibility
  • convenience
  • comfort
  • dependency
  • privacy concerns
  • personal freedom
  • cultural expectations
  • social stigma
  • delayed milestones
  • cohabitation
  • autonomy
  • rent and utilities
What to do next:
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