IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people lives, to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

From the beginning of
history
Correct article usage
the history
show examples
 of
science
Use synonyms
, there
is
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 always revolution in
life
Use synonyms
people’s
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 comes from the idea generated by any aspect of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science
Use synonyms
, so
I’m
Verb problem
I
show examples
 completely agree that
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 objective of
science
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
must be
serve
Verb problem
to serve
show examples
Use synonyms
life
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 people
and
Change preposition
of life and
show examples
 change it to the better level
could
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 human beings
reach
Verb problem
can reach
show examples
 .
Science
Use synonyms
 in many aspects of our
life
Use synonyms
 gives us hope, abilities and power,
for example
Linking Words
, in medicine we can see that our longevity become better and longer, and for all the patients who were had a risky diseases,
while
Linking Words
 that every forward step for
science
Use synonyms
 improves donates a new
life
Use synonyms
 , new hope and new desire for living again for whom give up from their health. From another aspect, technology had a huge and great impact on our
life
Use synonyms
 and how became easier and enjoyable, even healthier,
for example
Linking Words
, currently no one can live without using internet for any seek, to study, work, and playing games, we can earning money just from
this
Linking Words
 huge network,
moreover
Linking Words
, the improve
science
Use synonyms
 in technology field allows researchers to discover old secrets and solve puzzles from our universe. Our daily
life
Use synonyms
 depends on
uncountable
Correct word choice
countless
show examples
 things we
ca not
Correct your spelling
cannot
 live
hour
Correct article usage
an hour
show examples
 without
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,
electricity
Change preposition
such as electricity
show examples
, clean water, cars and transportation
,
Punctuation problem
. Furthermore
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furthermore
Linking Words
, the cities
designs
Check wording
apply
show examples
we live in
relay
Use the right word
rely
show examples
 on
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientific foundations.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I’m
surely believe
Replace the word
sure
 that scientists have responsibilities and rules must be followed and respected to achieve
this
Linking Words
 noble aim and serve humanity in beneficial ways.

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task response
For task response, answer the question more directly. You say you agree, but you need to explain more why science should first help people, and you can also show why other aims are less important.
task response
For task response, develop each main idea more. Your ideas about medicine, technology, and daily life are good, but they need clearer explanation.
task response
For task response, use more clear and real examples. For example, talk about vaccines, clean water systems, or online learning.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, make one clear main idea for each body paragraph. Now some parts have too many ideas in one paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, use simple linking words well, like first, also, for example, as a result, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, check sentence order. Put the main point first, then give an example, then explain the result.
task response
For task response, you answer the question and your position is clear: you strongly agree.
task response
For task response, you give relevant ideas about health, technology, and daily life.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, you use some linking words like for example, moreover, and to conclude.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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