It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Recent
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In recent
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days
the
Punctuation problem
, the
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topic of
if It
Correct word choice
whether it
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is important for
people
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to take
risks
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,
both
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in their professional
lives
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and their personal
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lives
Punctuation problem
lives,
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has been widely discussed. In my opinion about
this
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topic, I see the advantages of taking
risks
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both
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in their professional
lives
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and their personal
lives
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are equally with disadvantages of taking
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risk
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risks
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in many
reasons
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ways
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. On one hand. I think
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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one of the main advantages
for
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of
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letting
people
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force their
Verb problem
take
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selfies for taking
risks
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both
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in both
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of
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apply
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their professional and personal
lives
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at the same time. is that there is a huge
percentege
Correct your spelling
percentage
of new chances that will put them in higher
postions
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positions
in
both
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lives
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.
In
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addition
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addition,
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there is a study in 2024
says
Correct word choice
that says
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70% in every 100 persons, they are regret because the didn't move step and
take
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taking
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the
risk
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.
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Moreover
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Moreover,
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they said if they
could have
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had
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the
cance
Correct your spelling
chance
to take they
will
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would
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use it.
On the other hand
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. I think
also
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, one of the biggest disadvantages when
people
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benig
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are
used to
take
Wrong verb form
taking
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risks
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in
both
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of
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apply
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their professional and personal
lives
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,
that
Verb problem
is that
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they will b always
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
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more benefits,
morforther
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and further
they will have addict to take
risk
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, even if
It
Fix capitalization
it
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doesn't
reserve to
Verb problem
result in
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taking more
risks
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. In conclusion, I think that if
people
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take
risks
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,
both
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in their professional
lives
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and their personal
lives
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are equally in the
Verb problem
have
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advantages and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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disadvantages, and it depends on how
people
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will
Wrong verb form
apply
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use
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them
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. If they will use it as a privilege without limits
or
Punctuation problem
, or
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if they will never take
step
Correct article usage
a step
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and be scared
from
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of
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taking
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risk
Check wording
risks
show examples
.

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task response
Answer the question more clearly. Say if advantages are more, disadvantages are more, or they are equal, and keep this same idea all through the essay.
task response
Add clearer main ideas in each body paragraph. Start each paragraph with one simple point, then explain it.
task response
Use examples that are clear and easy to trust. The study example is not clear now, so explain where it is from or use a simple real-life example.
coherence and cohesion
Make links between ideas smoother. Use simple words like first, also, however, as a result, and finally.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar so your meaning is easier to follow. Some sentences are very hard to understand now.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one idea in one sentence when possible. This will help the essay sound more organized.
coherence and cohesion
You wrote an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion. This is a good essay shape.
task response
You tried to discuss both sides of the topic, so your essay stays on the main subject.
task response
You gave an example to support your point. This is a good habit in IELTS writing.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
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