IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

Nowadays, as a part of education process, students work at a company for a short period of time without pay. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Considering that most of the formal jobs require some level of work
experience
Use synonyms
, having an opportunity
of
Correct word order
to gain work experience
show examples
experience
Use synonyms
 workspace and learn during the studying time overcomes the fact that
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 is
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unpaid work. Some people believe that students would have more interest and commitment if they were treated more equally in a business context, especially if they had a financial return from that
experience
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 some argue that companies
are benefited
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
 from that, since they can use
free
Correct article usage
the free
show examples
 workforce of the students strategically.
However
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the focus, in
this
Linking Words
 case, should be on the learning side
experience
Use synonyms
 and in offering them an opportunity of imerse in the real business world. The work
experience
Use synonyms
 is,
therefore
Linking Words
, a gateway to the job market and should be better
utilizied
Correct your spelling
utilised
 by both students and companies.

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task response
Give a more clear answer in the first part. Say if the good points are more than the bad points.
task response
Add one or two real and clear examples to support your ideas.
task response
Explain each main point more. Now the ideas are short and not fully built.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to show the order of ideas, like first, also, however, and in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Make one clear paragraph for each main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences do not connect well. Check that each sentence follows the one before it.
task response
You stay on the topic all the time.
task response
You show both sides of the question.
coherence and cohesion
There is an opening idea and an ending idea.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a basic order that the reader can follow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • real-world experience
  • soft skills
  • networking opportunities
  • workplace culture
  • career exploration
  • professional relationships
  • academic knowledge
  • theoretical application
  • job market
  • head start
  • industry connections
  • unpaid internship
  • employability
  • practical experience
  • individual development
What to do next:
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