IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Social networking applications are taking over the organic face-to-face interactions between individuals.
As there
Correct word choice
There
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 are many advantages
using
Change preposition
to using
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 social
media
Use synonyms
.
Such
Linking Words
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 making it easier for
people
Use synonyms
 around the globe to get to know each other or for individuals to discover the different vibrant cultures. There are as
much
Correct determiner usage
many
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 drawbacks as benefits. Like, that social
media
Use synonyms
 could make
people
Use synonyms
 more distant and isolated or that it could make them even lose their sense of real communication with others. On the one hand,
The
Fix capitalization
the
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 internet has made access for many
people
Use synonyms
 to make friends online. So it is not only
limitid
Correct your spelling
limited
 to
people
Use synonyms
 from your country or your city. Meeting
people
Use synonyms
 online may help you practice a new language that you are currently learning or to get to know someone from a country that you are moving to for studying or working,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 which could make your life much easier when you actually move
their
Use the right word
there
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 or even just to feed your curiosity
of
Change preposition
about
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 how other
people
Use synonyms
 from different nationalities live. To find out more about different cultures.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
 internet could have some detrimental effects. As it can lead to isolation for certain individuals who might find social
media
Use synonyms
as
Change preposition
to be
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 an escape from reality. Some
people
Use synonyms
 make up
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
whole profiles. In which
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 they can hide their actual
real
Correct word choice
apply
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identity. Some other
people
Use synonyms
 could lose their sense of communication in real-life situations In conclusion, social
media
Use synonyms
 is displacing real communication
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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while
Linking Words
 it is important in so many aspects nowadays,
but i
Correct word choice
I
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 believe that
it's
Correct determiner usage
its
show examples
 disadvantages
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 more harmful than
it's
Use the right word
its
show examples
 advantages
is of benefit
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.

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task response
Answer the question more clearly. You say both sides, but your view should be strong from the start and stay clear to the end.
task response
Add one or two clear examples to support each main idea. This will make your points stronger and easier to trust.
task response
Develop your ideas more fully. Some points are good, but they stop too soon.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph so the reader can follow your main idea easily.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a smoother way. Some sentences are joined in a confusing way or with wrong punctuation.
coherence and cohesion
Break long sentences into shorter ones. This will help your meaning stay clear.
task response
You answer the main topic and talk about both advantages and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
Some ideas are relevant, such as making friends online and possible isolation.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • face-to-face interaction
  • geographical barriers
  • global community
  • cultural diversity
  • economic opportunities
  • superficial interactions
  • mental health impact
  • loneliness
  • depression
  • interpersonal relationships
  • real world
  • spread of misinformation
  • echo chambers
  • societal polarization
  • informed citizenship
  • constant connectivity
  • maintain relationships
  • fast and efficient
What to do next:
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