Nowadays, a large amount of advertising is targeting children, and it should be banned because of its negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In modern society, a majority of adverts are catering to
children
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and
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, and
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this
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should result in a ban because of its negative effects.
Although
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advertising can be beneficial in some cases,
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overall
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overall,
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I strongly believe it does more harm than good.
Firstly
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, the younger the
children
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are, the more impressionable they are.
This
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means that they are susceptible to manipulation, especially through ads. With no proper regulations concerning how and where ads can appear,
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this
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it
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makes it extremely dangerous for young people to navigate the internet.
For instance
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, many games that market themselves as free
,
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apply
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compensate through the use of ads.
This
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exposes
children
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to various instances of inappropriate content.
Subsequently
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, they can be influenced to adopt close-minded ideals and negative behaviours,
such
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as being hateful of certain groups of people or even individuals. Another reason for banning adverts targeting
children
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is linked to consumerism. As previously said,
children
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are easily impresionable so marketing something
that is
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trying to attract them can lead to overconsumption. Parents want to indulge their
children
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's wishes as much as possible, which more often than not
,
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apply
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makes it difficult for parents to refuse their
offspring
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offspring's
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wishes,
although
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it might not be in their best interest.
Furthermore
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,
this
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puts even more pressure on
lower income
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lower-income
households that need to
prioritize
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prioritise
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needs above fleeting wishes.
However
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,
this
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does not make it any less difficult for parent to have to disappoint their
children
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.
For example
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, a new toy that had multiple previous
itterations
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iterations
,
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apply
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may not be what the child needs, but it is still upsetting as a parent to make the decision of distressing your child. In conclusion, I firmly believe that
advertisments
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advertisements
targeting
children
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should be banned, or at the very least heavily regulated by governments, to diminish
its
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their
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negative effects on individuals.

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coherence cohesion
Make your main idea more direct in each body part. This helps the reader follow your point more easily.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer linking words between ideas. Some parts jump too fast from one idea to the next.
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Explain your examples a bit more. Show exactly how they support your main point.
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Answer the question in a more balanced way. You say ads can help, but you do not really explain how.
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Check word forms and spelling because small mistakes can make your meaning less clear.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
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Your opinion is clear from the start and stays the same through the essay.
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You use examples about games, toys, and family money, which are on topic.
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