IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Some people argue that it is natural talents makes a sportsman famous. Other believe that it is hard work. Discuss both the view with your opinion.

I believe that talent is important in
in
Remove the redundancy
apply
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making
sportsman
Correct article usage
a sportsman
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 famous
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 it's not all that matters
we
Punctuation problem
. We
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 witnessed many sportsman that got famous because of their hard work and dedication to the sport they play. Talent is important in getting discovered and securing a place in camp to train
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 if they don't keep up with the intense training and
pressure
Punctuation problem
pressure,
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 they will not make the cut to the
offical
Correct your spelling
official
 team, so I believe hard work is as important as
talent
Punctuation problem
talent,
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 in which if they work hard and make it on
time
Punctuation problem
time,
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 they will become even better than they are.

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task response
Write a clear first sentence that answers the question in a direct way.
task response
Discuss both sides more evenly. Say more about why some people think talent is key, and why others think hard work is key.
task response
Add one simple real example to support your idea.
coherence and cohesion
Split your ideas into clear sentences. Some parts are too long and hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use basic linking words like first, also, but, so, and in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Add a short ending sentence to restate your opinion clearly.
task response
You give a clear opinion: talent matters, but hard work matters too.
task response
Your ideas stay on the topic and are easy to understand most of the time.
coherence and cohesion
There is a basic flow from talent, to training, to success.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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