IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

All education and healthcare facilities should be funded by the government and free for everyone. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

With the development of novel technology and tendencies, citizens are increasingly concerning money
circulating of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
sates
Correct your spelling
states
. In that
aspect
Use synonyms
, some individuals argue that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 fundamental requirements
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 and medical facilities should be
cordinated
Correct your spelling
coordinated
 through public
fund
Check wording
funds
show examples
. From my perspective, the trend is reflected
positive
Change preposition
in positive
show examples
outhcomes
Correct your spelling
outcomes
 and the statement can be logically approved.
To begin
Linking Words
, the positive
aspect
Use synonyms
 of the trend sheds light on its constructive nature. More importantly,
education
Use synonyms
 is one of the
great
Correct word choice
greatest
show examples
 investments for reaching
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sustainable development.
Hence
Linking Words
, governments should ensure
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sound
education
Use synonyms
 systems
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
among
Change preposition
for
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 all
the
Correct article usage
apply
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citizens included financially incapable individuals.
Further
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 unemployment, poverty
or
Punctuation problem
, or
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 sheer ignorance of people
,
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apply
show examples
 who
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
belong to different
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of social statuses are not in a position to secure a high degree of
scholary
Correct your spelling
scholarly
 opportunities.
As a result
Linking Words
, income
inbalances
Correct your spelling
imbalances
 and
descriminations
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discrimination
show examples
 may happen. So, governing authorities should provide immense
contribution
Check wording
contributions
show examples
 and financial aid to
such
Linking Words
 people. More
interrestingly
Correct your spelling
interestingly
, Sri Lanka is one of the great
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
 for
this
Linking Words
 concept.
Sri
Correct article usage
The Sri
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lankan
Fix capitalization
Lankan
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 government has spent a considerable proportion
from
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of
show examples
 its annual budget
to
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on
show examples
 free
education
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
great
Correct article usage
a great
show examples
amount
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number
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 of young professionals have secured prominent professional opportunities from
public funded
Correct your spelling
public-funded
 universities, which has paved the way for
irradicated
Correct your spelling
eradicated
 poverty. It is worth mentioning the fact that
,
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 private healthcare system is a cost of fortune. More
suprisingly
Correct your spelling
surprisingly
, laboratory cost, hospitality cost or medical coverage may be highly expensive in some cases. In that
aspect
Use synonyms
, government authorities should
assure
Verb problem
ensure
show examples
 the well-being of every civilian by providing sufficient infrastructure facilities,human resources, and scientific developments in health aid. It is worth mentioning the fact that
,
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apply
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 patients
of heart related
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with heart-related
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 illnesses, kidney failures or cancer
pave
Verb problem
pay
show examples
 more attention
on
Change preposition
to
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 their medical expenses. In that
aspect
Use synonyms
, concessions or
free
Verb problem
being free
show examples
 of charges may be an immense courage to overcome
such
Linking Words
 difficulties.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
The
Correct article usage
apply
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UNESCO, nations
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 have led
finacial
Correct your spelling
financial
 assistance towards their communities
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 have secured a low level of mortality rates of moms and infants in
child births
Check wording
childbirth
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. Looking from an
overall
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 perspective, it is evident that
,
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apply
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 'Change is inevitable'. In that
aspect
Use synonyms
, every communal figure should step forward to understand the value of government grants and
assistanships
Correct your spelling
assistances
 on free
education
Use synonyms
 and health aids.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
governers
Correct your spelling
governors
 are the ultimate responsible persons for tax
ciculation
Correct your spelling
collection
.
Hence
Linking Words
, they should devise an appropriate plan to spend their fiscal assets in a
propper
Use the right word
proper
show examples
 manner to increase the upward mobility of the country.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly that you agree, and keep this clear in all body parts.
task response
Give ideas in a simpler way. Some sentences are hard to understand, so your main point is not always clear.
task response
Use examples that are clear and easy to trust. One or two simple examples are better than many unclear ones.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph follow one clear plan: main idea, reason, example, result.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, for example, and as a result. Do not use too many long linking phrases.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar, because some parts break the flow and make the reader stop.
task response
You answer the main topic and mostly support the idea of free education and health care.
coherence and cohesion
You include an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You try to use examples, such as Sri Lanka and health costs, to support your ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • basic needs
  • public services
  • equal chance
  • poor families
  • medical care
  • tax money
  • high cost
  • better future
  • healthy society
  • skilled workers
  • free access
  • public budget
  • private sector
  • essential treatment
  • emergency care
  • higher taxes
  • good quality
  • crowded hospitals
  • social fairness
  • long-term benefit
What to do next:
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