Although many people value their public parks, this place could be better used for other purpose such as residential areas for the ever-growing population or to develop business and boost economies. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

Some people believe that
instead
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of public
parks
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, urban space should be used for expanding residential
areas
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or developing businesses to accommodate growing populations and boost the economy.
While
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both priorities are important, I strongly believe that preserving public
parks
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provides far greater benefits to the well-being of residents. As cities continue to grow, green
spaces
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are becoming increasingly scarce. Expanding residential
areas
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and commercial developments often
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
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at the expense of
parks
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, forests, and public gardens.
This
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loss has significant consequences for both mental and physical health. Public
parks
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provide
areas
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for relaxation, allowing individuals to unwind with friends and family after stressful periods.
Moreover
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, green
spaces
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encourage physical activity,
such
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as walking, jogging, or participating in
organized
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organised
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sports, which improves
overall
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fitness and reduces lifestyle-related illnesses. Without
such
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spaces
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, urban populations may face increased stress levels, sedentary
behavior
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behaviour
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, and associated health problems.
While
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urban development is necessary, it is possible to expand housing and businesses without destroying green
areas
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.
For example
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, cities can
prioritize
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prioritise
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high-rise apartment complexes rather than sprawling houses,
minimizing
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minimising
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land use
while
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accommodating more residents. Commercial developments,
such
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as office buildings and shopping
centers
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centres
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, can be concentrated on
city
Correct article usage
the city
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outskirts or in redeveloped industrial zones. Singapore provides a successful example, where extensive
parks
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, rooftop gardens, and green corridors have been integrated into the urban landscape, improving residents’ quality of life
while
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allowing the city to grow economically. In conclusion,
although
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residential and commercial expansion is vital for urban growth, public
parks
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and green
spaces
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play an irreplaceable role in promoting mental health, physical activity, and social well-being.
Therefore
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, I believe that cities should
prioritize
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prioritise
show examples
preserving and integrating green
areas
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alongside urban development to achieve sustainable and healthy living environments.

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task response
Make your side even more clear in each body part.
task response
Add one more real and clear example to make your ideas stronger.
task response
Explain a few points a bit more, so the reader can see why they matter.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words like 'first', 'also', and 'as a result' to guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Some long lines can be cut into shorter ones for easier reading.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each body part focused on one main point only.
task response
You answer the question fully and give a clear opinion from the start.
task response
Your ideas are clear and easy to follow.
task response
The Singapore example helps support your view well.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Each part links well to the next part.
coherence and cohesion
Main points are supported with good reasons.
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