Some people believe that money is the best gift to give teenagers, while others disagree. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving money as a gift? What is your opinion?

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In
recent
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In recent
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years,an ongoingmost diabetic people think about ismony.Some people consider that
cash
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is the best
gift
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to give youother arger that disagree about it.
iwill
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I will
explain both sides, and
iwill
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I will
give my own opinion. on one other hand,humans consider that
cash
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is sutible
gift
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to give
teenagers
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,
this
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is because they need to spend
cash
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for what they need and build
finanical
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financial
skills and how can mange thier
cash
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.
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for
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For
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example,when
teenagers
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have a meeting with friends or have a movie time ,they feel happy
when
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When
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they have
money
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to make a way to be comfortable. AS result, the plan to spen mony lead them to become confident and find a strenth points over the long term.
onthe
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On the
other hand,
money
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as a
gift
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for
teenagers
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is the most important issue these days ,because
teenagers
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are attracted to try all things as much as they see.Friends often
,
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apply
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have bad habits or spend
money
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for harmful ways .
As a result
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,
money
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reflects a disadvantage
that is
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effective dramtaclly as a short term. In conclusion,
money
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is the most needed in our
life
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lives
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.I believe that
money
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should not be given to
teenagers
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as a
gift
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, the best way to spend their
money
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under
pareants
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parents
.

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task response
Answer all parts more clearly: say good points, bad points, and your opinion in a direct way.
task response
Use one clear main idea in each body paragraph, then add one simple example.
task response
Make your ideas easier to understand. Some lines are hard to follow because of wrong word use.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well, like First, Also, However, and In conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Put each idea in the right place. Do not jump from one idea to another too fast.
coherence and cohesion
Support your points more. The example about friends and movies is too short and not fully explained.
coherence and cohesion
You wrote an introduction and a conclusion.
task response
You tried to discuss both sides and gave your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a basic paragraph plan.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial responsibility
  • budget
  • save
  • informed spending decisions
  • personal preferences
  • practical and efficient
  • unwanted or inappropriate gifts
  • impersonal
  • emotional value
  • thoughtfulness
  • personal consideration
  • wise financial decisions
  • frivolously
  • lasting memories and experiences
  • educational courses
  • hobby-related equipment
  • long-lasting positive impact
  • fostering interests and skills
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