IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some believe elderly people should live in nursing homes, others think they should live with family members. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There are lots of
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
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 individuals in our society, but the discussion
whether
Change preposition
about whether
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 to retire in a nursing
home
Use synonyms
 or
living
Wrong verb form
live
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 with family has sparked considerable debate.
Firstly
Linking Words
, Families of seniors who have a busy work life schedule take their loved ones to retirement facilities so they can be assisted with daily life living
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as pericare, bathing, feeding, dressing and medication support.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
it has
his
Fix the agreement mistake
its
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 downside
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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shortage
Correct article usage
a shortage
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 of care aides makes it extremely difficult to provide quality care to
residence
Check wording
residents
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, most people are
skeptical
Change the spelling
sceptical
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 about taking their aged parents to nursing homes because they are scared
if
Correct word choice
that
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 the quality of care will be poor,
also
Linking Words
 it is
more
Rephrase
apply
show examples
cheaper financially to keep the seniors at
home
Use synonyms
, and prefers daily visits from personal support workers and nurses. In conclusion,
personally
Add a comma
personally,
show examples
 I think retiring and staying at
home
Use synonyms
 with family is a good option, and for someone who has had the experience of working with seniors in my community for five years. They live longer and happier when they are at
home
Use synonyms

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about homes and family, but each side needs more detail.
task response
Give one clear reason and one simple example for each side.
task response
Your opinion is clear in the end, but say it more directly before the last line too.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body part.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow. Keep sentences shorter and check word order.
task response
You answer the main question and give your opinion.
task response
You include both views, not only one side.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas follow a basic order from start to end.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professional healthcare
  • social interaction
  • isolation
  • burnout
  • safety and monitoring
  • emotional support
  • familial bonds
  • mental well-being
  • personalized care
  • cost-effective
  • cultural expectations
  • intensive medical care
  • indispensable
  • medical emergencies
  • norm and sign of respect
  • mental well-being
  • professional care
  • peer interaction
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