IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You recently bought some train tickets for a journey a week in advance. When you went to the station to catch the train, you were told you could not use the tickets and the staff were very unhelpful to you. Write a letter to the train company. In your letter ◦ describe the problem you had with the tickets ◦ say why you were unhappy with the staff ◦ suggest what action the train company should take

#train #tickets #journey #week #advance #station #staff #company #action
I hope
this
 message finds you well. I'm writing to express the unpleasant situation that happened to me at the train station. I bought 3 tickets on 23 July for a trip to my family in Japan on 30 July,
however
, when I arrived at the station the staff told me that I was not able to catch the train in
disrespectful
Add an article
a disrespectful
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 way.
Moreover
, they did not attempt to clarify the situation to me which is terrible behaviour.
Additionally
, I want some help with other staff but they were busy and it seems that they have more commitments to do.
Finally
, as you are the person who is responsible for the training station I ask you to provide professional training to the staff to
improving
Change the form of the verb
improve
show examples
 their services and personal characteristics. I hope to change my expired tickets to new ones and send me a real apology letter to make me feel satisfied and happy. Thank you for your time I hope I was clear and positive. I'm eagerly waiting for your response. Yours Faithfully, Naif Nazzawi
Submitted by naif.waleead on

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Coherence
To improve coherence, try to link paragraphs more smoothly and ensure each paragraph contains a single idea.
Logical Structure
Consider organizing your points better by clearly distinguishing between the problem, the behavior of the staff, and your requests for resolution.
Complete Response
The letter includes all required elements from the task: a description of the problem, dissatisfaction with staff, and a proposed solution.
Writing Tone
The tone of the letter remains polite yet firm, which is suitable for such a complaint letter.
Greeting and Closing
Effective use of greeting ('I hope this message finds you well.') and closing ('Yours Faithfully'), which enhances politeness.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • disappointed
  • inconvenience
  • frustrated
  • incompetent
  • unhelpful
  • inconsiderate
  • ruined
  • compensation
  • refund
  • apology
  • reimbursement
  • improvement
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