IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

"Some people think that one of the best ways to solve environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles." do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 increasing the expense of
fuel
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 for private
vehicles
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 like cars and other
vehicles
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 is one of the most effective ways to address ecological challenges. I agree with the idea that a price hike
of
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in
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fuel
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 can systematically reduce the problems. There are a number of reasons why I believe that the increase in
fuel
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 prices can help the environment. One possible reason is that
people
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 who
use
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 their private
vehicles
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 for transportation reduce
the
Correct article usage
their
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use
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 of cars when the fuels become more expensive. They may avoid using cars for the short distances and will walk or
use
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 public transport, which directly lowers the air pollution and carbon emissions. Another reason is encouraging
people
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 to
use
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 public transport. Higher
fuel
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 prices can
also
Linking Words
 push
people
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 towards public
means
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transport
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,where more
people
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 can travel
by
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with
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 less
fuel
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 consumption.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 helps to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
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traffic congestion and sound pollution.
In addition
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, when
fuel
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 is comparatively overpriced,
people
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 may switch to electric
vehicles
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 , which will be a
long term
Correct your spelling
long-term
 environmental benefit.
Besides
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, governments and companies can invest more in green technology to find a proper alternative of
fuel
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 based
vehicles
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, expensive fuels make
people
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 more conscious about energy consumption,
thus
Linking Words
 helping them to think about sustainability and reducing their carbon footprint. In conclusion, considering the factors discussed above, I believe increasing the charge on fuels will help us to eradicate the environmental crisis.

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task response
Give one clear example to support your main idea, like how higher fuel cost can make people use buses more.
task response
Explain your ideas a bit more deeply. Some points are good, but a few need more detail.
task response
Keep your position very clear in each body paragraph, not only in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. A few sentences feel too long and joined together.
coherence and cohesion
Group similar ideas in one paragraph. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Check punctuation and spacing, because small errors can make the flow less smooth.
task response
You answered the question directly and gave a clear opinion.
task response
Your essay stays on the topic and most ideas are relevant.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words like 'another reason', 'moreover', and 'in conclusion' to guide the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental sustainability
  • renewable energy
  • fossil fuels
  • public transportation
  • carbon footprint
  • economic incentives
  • alternative energy vehicles
  • fuel-efficient
  • government subsidies
  • economic disparity
  • urban planning
  • rural infrastructure
  • sustainable development
  • carbon tax
  • green technology
  • demand elasticity
  • energy conservation
  • climate change mitigation
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