IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The maps below show a science park in 2008 and the same park today. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant."

First of all, it used to be a regular rail for trains in 2008, but people had built a
station
Use synonyms
 in the middle of the railway in real time.
Also
Linking Words
 in 2008, wasn’t any
paths
Use synonyms
, which went from the
station
Use synonyms
, just a path from It centre to cybersecurity, but they had a solution to build
paths
Use synonyms
 from the
station
Use synonyms
 to three different ways.
Also
Linking Words
 building shaped as a circle was an IT centre, but became an innovation centre. Cybersecurity was a
regular building
Check wording
growing field
show examples
 in 2008, and people added more space
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 it. They had removed the grasslands and built
this
Linking Words
 building wider
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 than it used to be. The car park had two roads for cars and one path to the cybersecurity in 2008, but it was rebuilt smaller, after including new
paths
Use synonyms
 from the
station
Use synonyms
 car park was included in these
paths
Use synonyms
 too, and road have been replaced with cycle
paths
Use synonyms
. In 2008
was
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 a grassland north of the north from business units
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
and people
Verb problem
was
show examples
 removed
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and replaced
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
with a building, which is called “research and development”.
Also
Linking Words
, they built a path to the offices and the university hub. Actually,
instead
Linking Words
 university hub has been a reception, which was removed for unknown reasons.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words station, paths with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 0 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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