IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, many schools require students to wear uniforms. Is it positive or negative development?

A number of schools intails from
students
Use synonyms
 to wear
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uniform
Correct article usage
a uniform
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.
While
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 some people think that
students
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 need
wear
Verb problem
to wear
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 their inclined
cloth
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 at
school
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, others
Check wording
uniform, others
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 believe it would be obligatory for
students
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at
Verb problem
to wear their
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school
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.
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uniform.
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In my opinion,it would be mandatory for scholars at
school
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due to some
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for several
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 reasons and benefits.
This
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 essay
examine
Correct subject-verb agreement
examines
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 that matter very profoundly.
To begin
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 with, wearing
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uniform
Correct article usage
a uniform
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assists
Verb problem
helps
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 both rich and poor families to be equal at the
school
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. It makes everyone
looked
Wrong verb form
look
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 the same
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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 it reduces discrimination between rich and poor
students
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.
In other words
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, wearing the same
uniform
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 creates an identical atmosphere at all
education academy
Replace the word
educational academies
 like schools , college ang so on. I remember one
my
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of my
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classmate
Fix the agreement mistake
classmates
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 was very poverty-stricken and don't able to purchase
an
Correct article usage
apply
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expensive
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cloth
Check wording
clothes
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 for himself.
As a result
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, he
always would
Correct word order
would always
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 be upset and
felt
Wrong verb form
feel
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 more shame among us.
However
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,
When
Fix capitalization
when
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 all
students
Use synonyms
 wearing
uniform
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, we
wasn't
Correct subject-verb agreement
weren't
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 leave the
differet
Correct your spelling
different
 feature from him.
A
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As a
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 result, it helps my
classmate
Check wording
classmates
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 to be equal among us.
Moreover
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, wearing
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uniform
Correct article usage
a uniform
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also
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 contributes to
focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
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 more on studies, not
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cloth
Check wording
clothes
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 for
students
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especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
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girls
Correct word choice
female
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 scholars.Many
students
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 usually worry about what to wear clothes at
school
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that
Correct word choice
,
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 thinking
learning
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about learning
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.
This
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 trend is becoming ubiquitous among scholars.
However
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, wearing
Use synonyms
uniform
Correct article usage
a uniform
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support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
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 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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most
of
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apply
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students
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 do not worry about what to wear .
As a result
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, they can concentrate more on learning. If I take myself as an example for
this
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 situation
that
Correct word choice
,
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 I usually think more about wearing beautiful or expensive
Use synonyms
cloth
Check wording
clothes
show examples
 at
school
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 than focusing
learning
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on learning
show examples
.
However
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, after
uniform
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 is being obligatory at
school
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, I am
being focus
Wrong verb form
focusing
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 more on education compared
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cloth
Change preposition
to clothes
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. So, it will affect me in a
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
 way. In conclusion,
Though
Fix capitalization
though
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 many people think that children should wear their interested
cloth
Use synonyms
 at
school
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, in my view,
Use synonyms
uniform
Correct article usage
a uniform
show examples
 would be mandatory at
school
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due to
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 some reasons which I mentioned earlier in
this
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 essay.
In other words
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,
firstly
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Punctuation problem
,
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uniform
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 give opportunity to be more equal
both
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for both
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of
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apply
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rich and poor
students
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.
Secondly
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, it enhance more learning atmosphere compared to thinking about
Use synonyms
cloth
Check wording
clothes
show examples
.

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task response
Write a clearer answer to the question in the first paragraph. Say if it is positive or negative in a direct way.
task response
Add one more clear idea about why school uniform is good, or explain your two main ideas more fully.
task response
Use examples that are short but clear. Your classmate example is useful, but some parts are hard to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph start with one clear main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, for example, so, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar because some sentences are hard to follow.
task response
You answered the topic and gave your opinion.
task response
You included examples from life to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The ideas are grouped into clear paragraphs.
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