Films can have effect on children’s education and teach them many things. Do you think it is always a positive influence. Discuss.
movies
can Fix capitalization
Movies
effect on
Use the right word
affect
kids
studies and teach them many Check wording
kids'
behavior
lessons. I think Replace the word
behavioural
this
is a positive influence Linking Words
usually
because if kids watch Punctuation problem
, usually
films
Use synonyms
which are teaching
them skills and Wrong verb form
that teach
etiquettes
, they are gonna be good citizens in the future Check wording
etiquette
but
if they watch too much, they can be antisocial and obese Punctuation problem
, but
by
time.
Change preposition
over
Firstly
, Linking Words
films
can have an Use synonyms
affect
on Use the right word
effect
youngsters brain
. When a child Check wording
youngsters' brains
watch
a movie, Correct subject-verb agreement
watches
movie
can teach the child highly Correct article usage
the movie
precious
acts Correct word choice
valuable
such
as kindness, hard work, respect and courage. Linking Words
In addition
, children Linking Words
aso
learn history, science, music, painting and sports via movies. They can do these things in real life Correct your spelling
also
and
they can find their real passion.
Punctuation problem
, and
However
, if they watch too Linking Words
much
Correct determiner usage
many
films
in a day, they are going to be antisocial because they are gonna be indoors all the time and spending time Use synonyms
in
home leads to fewer social Change preposition
at
activites
. Correct your spelling
activities
Also
, some Linking Words
films
Use synonyms
contains
bad words and wrong behaviour Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
such
as drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, using drugs, drunk driving and stabbing people. Young children may copy what they see because they do not fully understand what is right or safe.
In conclusion, Linking Words
Films
can teach very good acts and skills Use synonyms
but
they can Punctuation problem
, but
also
teach bad habits Linking Words
and
kids can do them because Punctuation problem
, and
the
lack of knowledge to know what is good and what is bad.Change preposition
of a
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task response
Answer the full question more clearly. Say if films are always good, or good only in some cases, and keep this idea clear in all parts.
task response
Add one or two clear examples. For example, name a kind of film and say what a child can learn from it.
task response
Develop each main idea more. Do not only list points; explain how and why they affect children.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences at the start of each body part. This helps the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly with words like first, also, however, for this reason, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are not well connected. Try to keep one main idea in each sentence and then add support.
task response
You answer both sides: films can teach good things, but too much can cause problems.
task response
Your main position is clear: films are usually positive, not always.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a simple clear shape: start, two body parts, and end.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words like firstly, however, and in conclusion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite