Films can have effect on children’s education and teach them many things. Do you think it is always a positive influence. Discuss.

movies
Fix capitalization
Movies
show examples
can
effect on
Use the right word
affect
show examples
kids
Check wording
kids'
show examples
studies and teach them many
behavior
Replace the word
behavioural
lessons. I think
this
Linking Words
is a positive influence
usually
Punctuation problem
, usually
show examples
because if kids watch
films
Use synonyms
which are teaching
Wrong verb form
that teach
show examples
them skills and
etiquettes
Check wording
etiquette
show examples
, they are gonna be good citizens in the future
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
if they watch too much, they can be antisocial and obese
by
Change preposition
over
show examples
time.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
films
Use synonyms
can have an
affect
Use the right word
effect
show examples
on
youngsters brain
Check wording
youngsters' brains
show examples
. When a child
watch
Correct subject-verb agreement
watches
show examples
a movie,
movie
Correct article usage
the movie
show examples
can teach the child highly
precious
Correct word choice
valuable
show examples
acts
such
Linking Words
as kindness, hard work, respect and courage.
In addition
Linking Words
, children
aso
Correct your spelling
also
learn history, science, music, painting and sports via movies. They can do these things in real life
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
they can find their real passion.
However
Linking Words
, if they watch too
much
Correct determiner usage
many
show examples
films
Use synonyms
in a day, they are going to be antisocial because they are gonna be indoors all the time and spending time
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
home leads to fewer social
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
.
Also
Linking Words
, some
films
Use synonyms
contains
Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
show examples
bad words and wrong behaviour
such
Linking Words
as drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, using drugs, drunk driving and stabbing people. Young children may copy what they see because they do not fully understand what is right or safe. In conclusion,
Films
Use synonyms
can teach very good acts and skills
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
they can
also
Linking Words
teach bad habits
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
kids can do them because
the
Change preposition
of a
show examples
lack of knowledge to know what is good and what is bad.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer the full question more clearly. Say if films are always good, or good only in some cases, and keep this idea clear in all parts.
task response
Add one or two clear examples. For example, name a kind of film and say what a child can learn from it.
task response
Develop each main idea more. Do not only list points; explain how and why they affect children.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences at the start of each body part. This helps the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly with words like first, also, however, for this reason, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are not well connected. Try to keep one main idea in each sentence and then add support.
task response
You answer both sides: films can teach good things, but too much can cause problems.
task response
Your main position is clear: films are usually positive, not always.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a simple clear shape: start, two body parts, and end.
coherence and cohesion
You use basic linking words like firstly, however, and in conclusion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
Topic Vocabulary:
  • positive influence
  • negative effect
  • teach values
  • learn about history
  • science and nature
  • clear message
  • real-life lesson
  • copy behavior
  • bad language
  • violent scenes
  • screen time
  • adult guidance
  • age-appropriate films
  • critical thinking
  • useful learning tool
  • lose focus
  • healthy growth
  • good role model
  • wrong idea about life
  • balanced view
What to do next:
Look at other essays: