Scientists tell us some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people continue doing unhealthy activities. What are the causes and what are the solutions?

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Nowadays, many
people
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are aware of what is a positive or negative activity to their health, after being warned by some scientists and researchers.
However
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, citizens don’t want to stop unhealthy actions. There are some driving factors which led to
this
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problem. Some effective steps can be taken to mitigate neglecting healthy lifestyle actions. The primary reason for
this
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trend is that
people
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do not have enough tenacity to lead a healthy life. Today,
people
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are becoming much lazier
due to
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their academic pressure and busy
schedule
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schedules
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. They do not have enough
time
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and desire to be very productive and healthy.
For
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example
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,
people
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are working harder to achieve professionally and financially
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because of competitors around them. They spent a significant proportion of their
time
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, which cause to lack of
time
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and effort to take care of themselves personally. Another contributing factor is distractions around them. A clear
example
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is smartphones and social media platforms.
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,
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some
people
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spend their
time
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developing, screen
time
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can be entertaining to other kinds of
people
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. They do not organise their routines carefully or do not pay attention. For them, being more temporarily relaxed is more convenient.
This
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problem can be solved by individuals.
First,
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they need to organize detailed daily routine to spend their
time
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more effectively.
For
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example
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, waking up early
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and
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dividing
time
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equally among all tasks
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is the most effective way to live a healthy lifestyle. Another effective step to alleviate
this
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issue is reducing screen
time
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. If
people
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spend their
time
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on digital things, they do not realise how much
time
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they spend on screens.
For
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example
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, individuals can put some daily usage limits on their smartphone and some apps which distract easily.
To sum up
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, the main driving factors behind
this
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are a lack of perseverance and distractions.
This
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issue can be addressed by being resilient, self-assured and perseverant.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You explain causes well, but the solutions part is shorter and less developed.
task response
Add one more clear solution, and explain how it works in real life.
task response
Use examples that feel more real and direct. Some examples are too general.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main idea at the start of each body paragraph very clear.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Some sentences stop and start in a hard way.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph flow. A few ideas do not connect in a very natural order.
task response
You answer both questions: causes and solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most main points are easy to follow.
task response
You use examples to support your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • addiction
  • chemical reactions
  • dependency
  • social and cultural norms
  • convenience
  • accessibility
  • education and awareness campaigns
  • temptations
  • implementing policies
  • taxing
  • supportive environment
  • accountability
  • unhealthy habits
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