IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co- operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Childhood is a crucial part
for
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of
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 any young
genration
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generation
 child . Few people believed that it is
benificial
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beneficial
 if we thought adolcents about
competative
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competitive
 culture ,
while
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 others come with an
arguement
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argument
 that we should
learn
Verb problem
teach
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 our
child
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children
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 some moral values
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as unity and
co-operation
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cooperation
 with their
peers
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peers,
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 because it would
creat
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create
 them into good
citizen
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citizens
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 when they become
adult
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adults
show examples
.
This
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 essay
discuss
Correct subject-verb agreement
discusses
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 both
side
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sides
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 of
this
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 notion and
make
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makes
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 an opion which way is
the
Correct article usage
apply
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best
according to
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 my
knowlwdge
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knowledge
 with
an evident
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evidence
.
To begin
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 with, those who
believed
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believe
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 that a
competative
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competitive
 nature is
better
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a better
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 choice for shapping bright future of youth
has
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have
show examples
 several reasons to support their
argue
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argument
.
Firstly
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 ,
In
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in
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this
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fast pace of
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fast-paced
 life , there are limited opportunities for children if they want
exstream
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extreme
 success in their later life.
In other words
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,

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task response
Answer all parts of the task. You need to discuss both views and give your own opinion clearly.
task response
Write a full body paragraph for each side, then add your opinion with clear reasons.
task response
Use simple examples to support each main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, but it is not clear and the conclusion is missing.
coherence and cohesion
Make one main idea in each paragraph. Do not stop the sentence in the middle.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like first, also, however, for example, and in conclusion.
task response
You try to introduce both sides in the first paragraph.
task response
The topic stays mostly on children, competition, and co-operation.
coherence and cohesion
You use some linking words like firstly and in other words.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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