Some people think that cultural traditions will be destroyed when they are used as money-making machines aimed at tourists, other people believe that it is the only way to save such traditions in the world today. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion. |

An increasing number of people started to discuss
that
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apply
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whether cultural traditions will be destroyed when they are used as money-making machines aimed at tourists. From my perspective, I strongly believe that
tourism
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industries save
such
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traditions in the world today. Among numerous reasons supporting my ideas, the primary one is that
tourism
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industries can protect traditional
culture
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effectively, since if countries have access to funding, they can use these resources to sustain
culture
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.
For instance
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, in some
countrysides
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countryside areas
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,
thet
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they
have many tourist attractions
such
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as historical sites, where the
travelers
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travellers
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should
be recharged
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purchase
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tickets, so the local authority perserve
this
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destinations through
this
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funding to recruit a majority of
worker
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workers
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to secure our historical
culture
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.
Moreover
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,
by
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with
show examples
this
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financial support, we can
also
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improve the
government
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government's
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economic growth, making all citizens have a better life.
Overall
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, the advantage of
tourism
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industries effectively fosters the preservation of
culture
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, which is vital for long - term economic growth. Those who hold different views might maintain that traditional
culture
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is more likely to be damaged by tourists, as some
individual
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individuals
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like to throw the litters in any where and paint some pictures on the
historial
Correct your spelling
historical
sculptures. Even though their argument is valid to a certain degree, we should not forget that most
of
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apply
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people usually will not
destory
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destroy
them.
Instead
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, a majority of individuals are incredibly kind and
also
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post the photos on their social
medias
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media
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,thereby promoting
culture
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throughout the world. In summary, the advantage of
travelers
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travellers
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effectively promote
culture
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development, which is indispensable for spreading
culture
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.
To conclude
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, I believe that
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tourism
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the tourism
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industry
save
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saves
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such
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traditions in the world today.
Although
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some people might not see eye to eye with me and argue that traditional
culture
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is more likely to be damaged by tourists, the positive impact of the former is far more significant and remains indispensable.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk more about one side and less about the other side.
task response
Give a clearer opinion in the middle and keep it the same through the essay.
task response
Use more clear and real examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each body paragraph and explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a careful way. Some are good, but some sentences are still hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Check pronouns and references like 'they', 'them', and 'this' so the reader knows what you mean.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a basic paragraph structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You try to support your ideas with reasons and an example about historical sites.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural commodification
  • Authenticity
  • Economic gain
  • Cultural significance
  • Preservation
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Financial resources
  • Cultural heritage
  • Cultural pride
  • Tourist interest
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