IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that technology has made human communication worse, while others believe it has improved the way we communicate. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Everything
on
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in
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this
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world
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 has its merits and demerits. A significant example is
technology
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. Many
people
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 think that
technology
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 has made human
communication
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 worse,
while
Linking Words
 others believe it has improved the way we communicate. In my
opinion
Punctuation problem
opinion,
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 it
a
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is a
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mixture
between
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of
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 both positive and negative. On one hand,
technology
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 has made human
communication
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flexbel
Correct your spelling
flexible
, who think befor 500
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 that you
will
Wrong verb form
would
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 be able to talk to
any body in the
Correct word order
anybody at any
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 time and
the
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from any
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 place that
fit
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fits
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 you? That was a dream
at
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in
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 the past,
nowdays
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nowadays
 we
could
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can
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 communicate with phones. Thinking more of how
technology
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let
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makes
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 our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 better, with
technolgy
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technology
 the
world
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become
Verb problem
has become
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 safe, when we need help
an
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at
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 any time we
could
Wrong verb form
can
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 call the police with only 3 numbers!
On the other hand
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,
technology
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 has made
alot
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a lot
 of
communication
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problemes
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problems
 all over the
world
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,
people
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 start
bleving
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believing
 that talking in dvices enouf, no need to
communicat
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communicate
 in real life! And
that
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that's
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 what cause alot of problems as mental health
and
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issues and
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felling
Use the right word
feeling
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 lonely. Another disadvantageous when
the
Correct article usage
apply
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communication
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become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
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 so
flexbel
Correct your spelling
flexible
 that
no
Verb problem
there is no
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 need to
gitting
Wrong verb form
get
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 outside hose to meet someone,
people
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 get lazy wich may cause some health problems as overwight,
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for
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such as being overweight. For
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example
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example,
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 a study that have been done
from
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by
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 students at Al Ain University
,
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found that
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 after applying mobilephones the
world
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 had
increase
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an increase
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 10% at wight problems.
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overall
Fix capitalization
Overall
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,
technology
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had
Wrong verb form
has
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 made human
communication
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 better in a way, but
effected
Use the right word
affected
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 it in another way
,
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. People
show examples
people
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 must be balance at useing it .

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task response
Answer both sides more fully and make your opinion very clear in all parts of the essay.
task response
Add one more clear idea for each side and explain it with a short reason or example.
task response
Use examples that are easy to understand and closely linked to your main point.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph follow one simple plan: main idea, explanation, example.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a correct way, such as on the one hand, on the other hand, for example, and overall.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects clearly to the one before it.
task response
You discussed both views and gave your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You used some linking words to guide the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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