The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and social as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

The presence of social
media
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has transformed the patterns of relationships.
This
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essay discusses the reasons why the merits of
this
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phenomenon in terms of fast communication and being able to communicate widely, outweigh the drawbacks of it not being able to identify
body
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language
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and the
difficulty
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of making new
friends
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. There are numerous
beneficial merits
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benefits
of using social
media
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to communicate. The main one is the ability to send messages and replies actively and very fast.
For instance
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, individuals nowadays use social
media
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in terms of gaining these valuable characteristics to get a haste and to connect strongly with their
friends
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.
Thus
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, it has been reported in the magazines that
this
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trend is getting to the next level
due to
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the advantageous
consumers
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consumer
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results.
However
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, the main drawback of using social
media
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for communication is the
difficulty
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to identify
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in identifying
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body
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language
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. The primary reason is that every single text and voice message can'
t
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really express the true feelings of the speaker.
In other words
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, after sending a
text
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text,
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the reader can'
t
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realise any emotions toward it clearly
but
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, but
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just being able to receive facts or general information. A
further
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point to consider
,
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apply
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is the
difficulty
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of making new
friends
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;
while
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you can'
t
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read
body
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language
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, you can'
t
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precisely trust the person
;
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,
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and
that is
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another reason. In conclusion, the benefits of communicating using social
media
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easily and very fast seem to outweigh the disadvantages of not being able to identify
body
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language
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and the
difficulty
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of making new
friends
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.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You say the good points are stronger, but you need a little more detail on why they are stronger than the bad points.
task response
Use clearer and more real examples. The example about magazines is not strong or specific enough.
task response
Develop each main idea with one clear explanation and one direct result. Some ideas are too general.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear 4-part structure, which is good. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
Link some sentences more smoothly. A few ideas jump too fast from one point to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Make the second body paragraph easier to follow. The point about body language and trust could be separated more clearly.
task response
You clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
task response
You discuss both advantages and disadvantages, so the answer fits the question.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most paragraphs stay on one main topic.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Communication channels
  • Online communities
  • Digital literacy
  • Networking
  • Privacy concerns
  • Misinformation
  • Cyberbullying
  • Social movements
  • Digital etiquette
  • Responsible consumption
  • Generational gap
  • Authenticity in relationships
  • Oversharing
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