IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Economic progress is one way to measure the success of a country, while some people think there are other factors. What other factors should be considered? Within these factors, do you think anyone is more important than economic progress?

Many people believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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economic
progress
Use synonyms
 is the main indicator of a country's success
,
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;
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however
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, I strongly believe that other factors
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such
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, such
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 as
,
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apply
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quality of
education
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 ,
healthcare
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 and political
stability
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stability,
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 are equally, if not more important.
Firstly
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 , the quality of
education
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 plays a crucial role in a nation's development . A
well educated
Correct your spelling
well-educated
 population leads to innovation, higher productivity and long term growth. Without
proper
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a proper
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education
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 system , even wealthy countries may struggle to sustain their
progress
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.
Secondly
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,
healthcare
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 is another essential factor . A country Cannot
considered
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be considered
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success
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a success
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 if their citizens suffer from poor health or lack access to medical services.
For
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example
Add a comma
example,
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 during
crisis
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a crisis
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such
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 as covid_19 , it became clear that
the
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apply
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strong
healthcare
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 systems are more valuable than economic wealth alone. In my opinion, these factors
sometimes can
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can sometimes
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 be more important than economic
progress
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. A nation may have a strong economy , but if people are unhappy, unhealthy, or living in chaos, it cannot be truly successful. In conclusion,
while
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the
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apply
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economic
progress
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 is important , it shouldn't be the only measure of success.
Education
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,
healthcare
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 and
overall
Linking Words
 quality of life are fundamental factors that determine the true
progress
Use synonyms
 of a country.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You say other factors matter, and you say they can be more important, but you need a clearer direct answer on which one is most important.
task response
Add one more clear factor or explain one factor in more depth. This will make your ideas more complete.
task response
Use a more specific example. The Covid-19 example is good, but explain it more clearly and link it to your main point.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph follow one clear plan: main idea, reason, example, result. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, for example, because, so, and as a result. This will help the flow.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence connection and grammar, because some errors break the flow, such as missing words or wrong word forms.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a clear conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a simple and easy structure with separate points for education and health.
task response
Your main ideas are relevant to the topic and stay on task.
task response
You give at least one real world example, which helps support your view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic progress
  • social well-being
  • healthcare
  • education
  • social equality
  • environmental sustainability
  • sustainable development
  • natural resources
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • resource depletion
  • political stability
  • rule of law
  • democratic governance
  • corruption
  • quality of life
  • life expectancy
  • work-life balance
  • happiness
  • technological development
  • infrastructure development
  • standard of living
What to do next:
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