IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In past the role of teacher was to provide information. Today, students have access to wide sources of information. There is, therefore, no role of teacher in modern education. Do you agree or disagree

With the rapid development of
technology
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 nowadays, knowledge and information
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 now broadly and easily accessible on
internet
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the internet
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. That brings out a debate, whether we still need the role of
teacher
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 in the future, where students have
abundent
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abundant
 sources of
infomation
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information
 with no
husstle
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hassle
 to access. In my opinion, no matter how much the degree
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technology
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of technology
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 allows
student
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students
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 to do self-learning
etc.
Punctuation problem
, etc.
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, it's necessary to have teachers in society. On one hand, scholars and researchers nowadays can obtain academic success with adequate databases and existing research in related fields, even with the help of artificial intelligence(AI). In the past, scholars needed to put tons of effort to produce effective outcome.
This
Linking Words
 could be time-consuming, either
emersed
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immersed
 in liabrary to search and read useful books, or learning from mentors. Unlike
the
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in the
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 past, today
with
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, with
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 the help of AI and
technology
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, students can solve problems in a fast way.
For instance
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, many
universities
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university
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 professors are now
encourage
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encouraging
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 students to ask ChatGPT for help, rather than sending them emails that take ages to get
response
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a response
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.
However
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, the
outstand
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outstanding
 performance of
technology
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 cannot
undercover
Verb problem
uncover
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 the importance of teachers, especially for children in their early age.
In
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At
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 a
kid's young age, certain propectives
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young age, certain perspectives
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 have not been set up yet
,
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;
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 a
teacher
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 is a person to educate kids in the right ways.
For example
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, appropriate early teaching can help build up
a
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an
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 individual's personality, and prevent
disfuntions
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disfunctions
 in social
behaviors
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behaviours
show examples
. A
teacher
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 can
also
Linking Words
 be crucial to teach children how to identify the quality of information and methodology to use
them
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it
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, without which the various accessible
infomation
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information
 would be a disaster. In conclusion, there is still a need
of
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for
show examples
 a role of
teacher
Use synonyms
 in the future, especially for young age kids.

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task response
Make your main view more clear in the first part. Say very directly that you do not agree with the idea.
task response
Add one more clear reason why teachers are still needed for all ages, not only for young children.
task response
Use examples that are more exact and easy to trust. The example about professors and ChatGPT feels too broad.
coherence and cohesion
Your second body part is stronger than the first. Try to develop both body parts in the same clear way.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking words are used well, like 'On one hand' and 'However', but some ideas inside sentences are hard to follow. Split long sentences into shorter ones.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. In body 1, the focus moves from scholars to students to professors.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion.
task response
You include both sides before giving your final view.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two body parts, and an end.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words help show the change of ideas.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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