IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In order to study at university students are required to pay expensive tution fees. Not all students can afford them so some people think that university education should be free for everyone. To what extend do you agree?

Modern
society
Use synonyms
 is increasingly confronted with the issue of rising tuition fees for universities
making
Punctuation problem
, making
show examples
 it non-affordable for some students. Some people share
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 opinion that university
education
Use synonyms
 should be free of cost, and I firmly agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion, primarily because free
education
Use synonyms
 is a basic right of every student and
straightforward
Correct article usage
a straightforward
show examples
 way to strengthen the
foundation
Correct word order
nation's foundation
show examples
nation
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
education
Use synonyms
 is one of the basic human rights
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 every child in our
society
Use synonyms
 should have access to
education
Use synonyms
 regardless of family background.
This
Linking Words
 is because gaining knowledge
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
is dependent on the financial situation of
family
Correct article usage
the family
show examples
,
mostly
Correct pronoun usage
which mostly
show examples
 results in many students abandoning their higher
education
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, the
underprivilege
Replace the word
underprivileged
 section of
society
Use synonyms
 that needs to be uplifted remains in
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 distressed condition. One compelling illustration of
this
Linking Words
 can be seen in India
where
Punctuation problem
, where
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 is getting more expensive day by day
Linking Words
due
Punctuation problem
, due
show examples
 to which most of the brilliant students drop
off from
Change preposition
out of
show examples
 their colleges
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 some even work as
labors
Check wording
labourers
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
 tuition-less
education
Use synonyms
 is a symbol of
non-partiality
Check wording
non-partisanship
show examples
 and is a methodology to strengthen a
society
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 literacy rate in a
nation
Use synonyms
symbolizes
Change the spelling
symbolises
show examples
 the moral and intellectual status of a
society
Use synonyms
. To elaborate, societies having less educated populations always deal with detrimental issues
such
Linking Words
 as high crime rate, low civic sense and terrorism
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
therefore
Punctuation problem
therefore,
show examples
 if
education
Use synonyms
 remains free for all, it will expand the horizons of young minds.
For example
Linking Words
, one of the states of Africa launched a free
education
Use synonyms
 scheme
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it is noteworthy that
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
 rate declined by 35
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in a span of two years.
This
Linking Words
 reinforces the statement that
education
Use synonyms
 is
only
Correct article usage
the only
show examples
 way to enlighten a
nation
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 in turn paws a way to progress and
flourishment
Replace the word
flourishing
. In conclusion, having a policy of free
education
Use synonyms
 in universities is an opinion
what
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 I adhere to, because educating children of our
nation
Use synonyms
 will bring blessings of prosperity and moral strength to us.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer all parts of the task more fully. You say you fully agree, but you do not explain why some people may not agree, or why your view is stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main idea more clear in each body paragraph. Start with one clear point, then explain it, then give one example.
task response
Use examples that feel more exact and easy to trust. Some examples are too general, so they do not strongly support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a smoother way. Some sentences are long and hard to follow, so the flow is not always easy.
task response
Develop your points more. A few good ideas are present, but some need deeper explanation to show a strong argument.
task response
You clearly give your opinion in the introduction and keep the same view to the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear basic structure with introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task response
You use examples to support your ideas, which helps your argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • equal opportunity
  • higher education
  • educated and skilled workforce
  • student loans
  • graduate
  • debt burden
  • incentivize
  • pursue
  • educational attainment
  • knowledge-based economy
  • social mobility
  • low-income students
  • socioeconomic status
  • economic growth
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • skilled labor
  • overcrowded classrooms
  • quality of education
  • public funding
  • higher taxes
  • reallocation of resources
  • essential services
  • mixed model
What to do next:
Look at other essays: