IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

University should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or dissgree?

Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 discuss
if
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
 universities should take the same
numbers
Check wording
number
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 of men and women for all subjects. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think
this
Linking Words
 is fair, but I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 idea. I believe it is more important to look at the marks and interests of
students
Use synonyms
 rather than their gender.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the most important thing for
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
grades. If a girl has very high marks in math
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 the university says they have enough girls, she cannot enter.
This
Linking Words
 is not fair
for
Change preposition
to
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 the student. Universities should choose
people
Use synonyms
 because they are smart and work hard. If we force equal numbers, some
students
Use synonyms
 with lower marks might get in just because of their gender.
This
Linking Words
 is bad for the quality of education in the future because we need the best scientists and doctors.
Secondly
Linking Words
, different genders often prefer different jobs.
For example
Linking Words
, in physical sciences or engineering, many boys want to study these things. On the other side, in nursing or teaching, more women usually apply. If a university must have equal numbers,
they
Fix the agreement mistake
it
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 might have empty seats in engineering if not enough women apply.
This
Linking Words
 is a waste of money and resources for the country. It is better to let
people
Use synonyms
 choose what they like to do in their lives. In conclusion, I do not agree that universities should have 50/50 male and female
students
Use synonyms
 in every subject. It is better to choose
students
Use synonyms
 by their abilities and let them follow their own interests.
This
Linking Words
 way, every student has the same opportunity to succeed.

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coherence cohesion
Make your main idea more clear in each body part at the start.
task achievement
Add one more short example to make your points stronger.
coherence cohesion
Link some ideas more smoothly with easy words like also, so, and because.
task achievement
Explain your second point a bit more to show why your view is right.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, two body parts, and a clear end.
task achievement
You answer the question all the way and give your opinion clearly.
task achievement
Your examples are simple but fit the topic well.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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