In the last century, the first man walking on the moon said: “It is a giant leap for mankind”. However, some people think that space travel makes little difference to our daily lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Undoubtedly, landing on the moon is considered the biggest achievement of humanity.
While
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some people believe that there is very little change in
the
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daily
lives
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life
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, I totally disagree with
this
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because I think that there are several areas which are not updated on
the
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Earth
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and
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, and
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those areas need more attention than exploring
space
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. To commence with, many countries are suffering from several issues that need a lot of money to recover. Rather than spending money
of
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on
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the current issues, the government is wasting it on exploring
the
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apply
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new life on
moon
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the moon
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.
For example
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, Africa is
very
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a very
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poor country, and many people die there
due to
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hunger. If more assets spend to that country,
then
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various people can get food.
As a result
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, individuals will take
interest
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an interest
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in all these activities because their own problems will be solved.
Furthermore
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, big companies invest in
the
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apply
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projects which will occur in
the
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space
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in the future. Scientists
consume
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spend
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most of their time
in
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inventing something new in
the
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space
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so that they
could
Wrong verb form
can
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become famous and give less attention to the
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earth
Fix capitalization
Earth
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.
For example
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, everyone knows that
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earth
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the Earth
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has limited water and it will vanish one day. Rather than looking for another source of water on the
Use synonyms
earth
Punctuation problem
earth,
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they prefer to go into
space
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.
As a result
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, soon, humans will not be able to survive as they are focusing more on the outer world. In
the
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conclusion, there could be some benefits of searching in
space
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,
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however
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apply
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it has no effect
of
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on
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daily lives. It is a waste of resources, which leads to human problems.

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task response
For task response: Your main view is clear, but you did not fully answer the question about daily life. Add more about why space travel does or does not change life for all people.
task response
For task response: Your ideas are simple and clear, but some are too general. Explain them more with clear facts or a stronger example.
task response
For task response: One example about Africa is not strong enough for this topic. Use examples that link more clearly to space travel and daily life.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. This is good.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Some links between ideas are weak. Make sure each body paragraph has one main idea and all sentences support it.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: Some words like 'rather than' and 'as a result' are used, but the flow is not always smooth. Use simple linking words in the right place.
task response
You gave a clear opinion in the introduction and kept it to the end.
coherence and cohesion
You used paragraphing well, with two body paragraphs and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion matches your main idea.
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