The chart below shows the chnages in three different areas of crime in Manchester city centre from 2003-20012.

5.0 / 9
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
The line graph illustrates how the number of three distinct areas of offence, namely burglary, car theft and
robbery
Punctuation problem
robbery,
show examples
has changed in Manchester city centre during the
nine years of
Correct word choice
nine-year
show examples
period. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
perspective, it is readily apparent that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
burglary experienced a decrease,
while
Linking Words
the number of car
theft
Fix the agreement mistake
thefts
show examples
showed
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
moderate increase in the
overall
Linking Words
period. Meanwhile, the number of
robbery
Fix the agreement mistake
robberies
show examples
remained more or less the same throughout the period. The most common crime was burglary in the initial stage, but car theft had become the highest indication by the end, with robbery remaining as the least observed crime throughout the years.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: