A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not well-managed. What are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world? Do you think that the benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?

The financial activities of many countries depend on tourism. There is an argument that travelling contributes to the economy,
while
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another states that it brings a
lot
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of drawbacks to that
area
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.
This
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essay will demontrate that how tourism can transform the infrastructure and increase souce of income, but it
also
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brings crime to the local
area
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, and makes the environment dirty. On the one hand, when a
lot
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of individuals visit a place on holiday, the citizens can make more money by selling local stuffs.
For example
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, when many people know and go to Vietnam to travel, a huge number of restaurants and coffee shops open to serve the visitors.
Moreover
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, the more places are visited, the more investments are attracted by governments and overseas.
Thus
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, many hotels and beautiful landscapes can be built.
On the other hand
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,
while
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people come to enjoy your vacations, there are
also
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a
lot
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of criminals in that
area
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who will steal your bags anytime.
Furthermore
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, the quality of air and soil can be polluted by environmental problems.
For instance
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, when a
lot
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of travellers visit, they can bring more garbage to that
area
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. In conclusion, the locals can make more money for living and build up more resorts when having travellers.
However
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, if a
lot
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of people visit that
area
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, it will lead to overcontrol by crime and a bad affect to the environment.
Due to
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its disadvantage, the development of tourism has to be planned carefully to avoid a bad affect to the local
.
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community.
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task response
Answer both parts more clearly. You talk about good and bad points, but your view is not fully clear. Say in the introduction and conclusion if the good points are stronger or not.
task response
Develop each main idea more. Some points are short, so the reader wants more detail about how tourism helps jobs, roads, and local business, and how it can cause crime or waste.
task response
Use more exact examples. Vietnam is a good start, but add one clear result from the example to show why the point is true.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear 4-part shape: introduction, two body parts, and conclusion. This is good for easy reading.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Some sentences jump fast from one point to another. Use simple linking words like first, also, however, as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Make topic sentences clearer. Start each body paragraph with one clear main idea, then support it with 2 or 3 connected sentences.
task response
You cover both advantages and disadvantages of tourism, so you address the main topic.
task response
You include an example about Vietnam, which helps support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and it has both an introduction and a conclusion.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable tourism
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • hospitality industry
  • tourist influx
  • cultural commodification
  • ecological footprint
  • economic diversification
  • carrying capacity
  • cultural sensitivity
  • destination marketing
  • travel advisories
  • visitor management
  • impact assessment
  • tourism revenues
  • authentic experience
  • visitor satisfaction
  • conservation efforts
  • seasonal fluctuation
  • social sustainability
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