“ Many people think that men should go out to work while women’s place is in the home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”

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There is no doubt that work plays an essential role in our lives
,
Punctuation problem
;
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many people think that men should go out to search
about
Change preposition
for
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a piece of bread and women should stay at home. From my
persepctive
Correct your spelling
perspective
, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
opinion because before
2000
Punctuation problem
2000,
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this
Linking Words
phenomenon
Not
Wrong verb form
was not
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widely distributed in the world. On the one hand,

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task response
Write a full essay with an ending. Now your essay stops after the start of body 1.
task response
Answer the question more clearly. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree, and keep this idea all through the essay.
task response
Give clear reasons for your view. Your idea about 'before 2000' is not clear enough.
task response
Add real and clear examples to support each main point.
coherence and cohesion
Use a simple plan: introduction, 2 body parts, conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph about one main idea only.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with easy words like 'first', 'also', 'for example', 'in the end'.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and punctuation. Some parts are hard to follow.
task response
You clearly show your opinion: you disagree.
coherence and cohesion
You use an introduction to start the topic.
coherence and cohesion
You try to use a linking phrase like 'On the one hand'.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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