One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In many nations,

life

Use synonyms

expectancy is rising

due to

Linking Words

medical breakthroughs. I partially agree that

this

Linking Words

is a positive development, as it brings both significant benefits and notable drawbacks.

To begin

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with, many diseases previously considered incurable can now be treated.

For instance

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, conditions like cancer can be eliminated if detected at early stages. Thanks to advanced technology, individuals are given a second chance at

life

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

gives hope to those suffering from rare diseases, allowing them to lead a normal

life

Use synonyms

Furthermore

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, medical recovery can improve employment prospects for people with disabilities, fundamentally changing their quality of

life

Use synonyms

On the other hand

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, rapid medical development has its downsides.

Firstly

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while

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some countries excel in healthcare, the majority still face a shortage of qualified professionals.

Consequently

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, patients often have to travel abroad and raise enormous funds for treatment.

Secondly

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, a population with high longevity may limit job opportunities for the youth, potentially increasing unemployment and straining the economy. Governments must

then

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allocate tremendous resources to pay pensions

while

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simultaneously trying to stimulate the job market for the younger generation. In conclusion,

while

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developing medicine offers a second chance at

life

Use synonyms

, it

also

Linking Words

presents challenges

such

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as high costs and economic pressure on the state.

aruzankadurzan5

Apr 15, 2026

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task response

Give a clearer answer in the first paragraph. Say if the good points are more than the bad points, or not.

task response

Add one more clear example to support your main idea.

task response

Explain more why longer life is good for family, work, or society.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words like 'however', 'as a result', and 'for example' to show ideas more clearly.

coherence and cohesion

Make each body paragraph focus on one main idea and explain it fully.

coherence and cohesion

Your conclusion is clear, but it should match your main opinion more strongly.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Most ideas are in a good order and easy to follow.

task response

You answer both sides of the question, which is good.

task response

You use some examples, such as cancer treatment and job issues.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

204 words

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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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