IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Tourism is increasing day by day in nations. What are the affects on environment by tourism and what are the solution to curb these problems?

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In today's modern society,
tourism
Use synonyms
 is increasing every day in countries.
This
Linking Words
 trend has certain negative impacts on
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as increasing living
cost
Check wording
costs
show examples
 and environmental damage.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine
Use synonyms
problems
Correct article usage
the problems
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 situation and suggest several solutions. Because of
over
Correct your spelling
over-tourism
tourism
Use synonyms
, there are some
problems
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especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 for residents of
tourism
Use synonyms
 spots.
This
Linking Words
 trend can make the cost of living increase significantly because it promotes high demands on everything,
such
Linking Words
 as
accomodations
Correct your spelling
accommodations
, restaurants and
transportations
Check wording
transportation
show examples
, which in turn lead to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their prices.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
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 who live in popular countries for
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 struggle with seeking
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
proper
houses
Replace the word
housing
 with their limited
fundings
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funding
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, excessive
toursim
Correct your spelling
tourism
 can harm
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environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
. Some visitors often leave their
trashes
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trash
show examples
 deliberately where they
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
show examples
, which in turn
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 the
economical
Replace the word
economic
 or environmental burden for the
tourism
Use synonyms
 cities or nations.
This
Linking Words
 may help residents feel a strong sense of
frustraiton
Correct your spelling
frustration
 and stress.
However
Linking Words
, there are some effective solutions to deal with these severe
problems
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.
First,
Linking Words
resricted
Correct your spelling
restricted
 regulations can be efficient.
For instance
Linking Words
, some countries fined
people
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 who harm the
environment
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, which allows the famous cities and spots
keep cleaned
Wrong verb form
to stay clean
show examples
.
Second,
Linking Words
making diverse taxes for tourists, which in turn can provide benefits for residents who have
disadvantaged
Correct article usage
a disadvantaged
show examples
 background by giving them financial
supports
Check wording
support
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 these days over
tourism
Use synonyms
 can affect
badly
Correct word order
people's lives and environment badly
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's lives and
environment
Use synonyms
 since it
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
may make
people
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 have difficulties in their finances and managing
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
, by giving tourists duties, authorities may deal with these
problems
Use synonyms
 efficiently and
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 economic
benfits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 for both cities and
people
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. Write more about the bad effects on nature, not only cost of living.
task response
Use ideas that fit the question closely. 'Living cost' is more about people, but the question asks about the environment.
task response
Give clearer and more full support for each main idea. Add one simple example for each point.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph stay on one clear topic. This will help the essay feel easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like 'first', 'also', 'as a result', and 'to solve this'.
coherence and cohesion
Check word forms and sentence order. Some lines are hard to follow because of grammar mistakes.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You try to answer both the problems and the solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Some linking words are used, like 'for example', 'in addition', and 'however'.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • ecosystem
  • degradation
  • carbon footprint
  • biodiversity
  • conservation
  • ecotourism
  • overcrowding
  • resource management
  • pollution
  • habitat destruction
  • renewable energy
  • infrastructure
  • waste management
  • environmental impact
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