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Band 7

The graph below shows information about the recruitment of teachers in Ontario between 2001 and 2007.

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The graph below shows information about the recruitment of teachers in Ontario between 2001 and 2007.
The graph illustrates the percentage of language
teachers
Use synonyms
 recruited in their first year after graduation, from 2001 to 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, the employment rate of English-language
teachers
Use synonyms
 declined sharply over the period, compared to their French-language counterparts. In 2001, approximately 75% of English-language
teachers
Use synonyms
 successfully found regular teaching jobs. The recruitment rate of
this
Linking Words
 group fell significantly to 40% in 2003, before slightly increasing to 45% in 2005. The figure
then
Linking Words
 continued to drop unexpectedly, reaching 28% by the end of the period. Over the first two years of the period, the percentage of graduates who managed to land
the
Correct article usage
a
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 job as French-language
teachers
Use synonyms
 was in a downward trend, hitting its lowest point of 52% in 2002. After a rapid rise between 2002 and 2003, the employment rate of
this
Linking Words
 group gradually increased, accounting for 73% by 2007.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words teachers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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