Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Many think that
parents
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are responsible for teaching the ways to be good individuals of the
community
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,
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however
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apply
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others opine that schooling is a better place to learn
this
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.
Parents
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have a better experience and, in school,
children
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learn more about discipline
,
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.
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I am supporting
former
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the former
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statement. To commence with,
parents
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have a better background to share with their offspring to make them good person of society.
This
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is because from birth, young ones hear so many stories from their
parents
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, which impact their thinking , and they are more connected with them. If
parents
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teach
good
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the good
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responsibilities of every person in the
community
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, it will make better humans in society.
For example
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, in India , grandparents teach many stories with their experience to their grandchildren, which makes them confident to make good decisions in their lives.
On the other hand
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, people opine that
children
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learn about discipline , which make good humans in
the
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apply
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life. To elaborate, in the
school
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school,
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all
children
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learn equally and how to live their life
with
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by
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supporting the
community
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. If all teenagers learn to live their life disciplinal without causing a problem with others and supporting everyone which obviously makes them good
community
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members.
For instance
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, in India , schools not only provide subjective knowledge but
also
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enhance
children
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's decisions to work for
the
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apply
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society , which connects them to support the
community
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. In conclusion,
in
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from
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my perspective,
firstly
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, people learn from their home how to talk and make
decision
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decisions
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for others , which only
parents
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teach their
children
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by giving examples from their experience, and schools are the main pillars of the world to teach discipline to every learner.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. Your view is clear, but the school side needs a bit more development.
coherence and cohesion
Give clearer main ideas in each body paragraph. Some sentences are hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. Some ideas are joined, but the flow is not always smooth.
task response
Support each main point with a more direct and clear example.
task response
Write a clearer opinion in the introduction and keep the same view to the end.
task response
You discuss both views and give your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You use examples about India to support your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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