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Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays, more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does it cause? What are the solutions?

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During recent years, employment has become increasingly difficult to find. One of the main reasons for
this
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 is the large number of
people
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 applying for the same
jobs
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, including both younger and older workers competing for the same positions. In
this
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 essay, the negative consequences of
this
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 situation,
as well as
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 possible solutions, will be discussed. One major problem of
this
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 competition between generations is the difference in physical abilities. In general, younger
people
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 tend to be stronger and have greater physical resistance than older individuals.
This
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 can disadvantage older workers, especially in
jobs
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 that require physical effort. A clear example of
this
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 can be seen in sports.
For instance
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, in judo, competitors are divided into categories based on age and weight, ensuring fairness among participants with similar physical conditions. In the same way, one possible solution would be the creation of laws aimed at supporting workers who have more difficulty finding
jobs
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. A relevant example of
this
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 type of public policy is the system of racial quotas in Brazil.
Due to
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 the historical racial inequality caused by slavery, these policies have provided many
people
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 with opportunities to study and access better
jobs
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.
Although
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 the racial issue is different from the generational problem, similar policies could be applied in
this
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 context to create more equal opportunities. In conclusion, the competition between younger and older
people
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 in the job market can lead to several problems.
However
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, if properly addressed, it can be improved through government action.
Therefore
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, public authorities should take responsibility for tackling
this
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 issue and consider implementing policies
such
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 as a quota system.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You tell the problems and one solution, but the problem part is a bit short.
task response
Use examples that fit the job topic better. The judo example is clear, but it is not close enough to work and jobs.
task response
Explain your main ideas more. Say why this problem hurts older people, companies, and society.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. Keep this strong shape.
coherence and cohesion
Link some ideas more smoothly. Some parts jump too fast from one point to another.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph focus on one main idea and support it with job-related detail.
task response
You answer both the problem and solution questions.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Intergenerational competition
  • Age discrimination
  • Adaptability
  • Hiring practices
  • Workforce diversity
  • Upskilling
  • Lifelong learning
  • Flexible working arrangements
  • Ageism
  • Technological proficiency
  • Productivity concerns
  • Diverse skillsets
  • Legislative protection
  • Employment equity
  • Biases
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