Some people say govement should give health care the first priority while some others believe there are more important priorities to spend the taxpayer’s money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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People
Use synonyms
have many important needs in their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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, and some of these are provided by the government. These services are funded by taxes
payed
Wrong verb form
paid
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by the
people
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. So, it is important to decide which sector should be given more priority based on what society
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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most. Some
people
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think
healthcare
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is the most important,
while
Linking Words
others believe there are other priorities.
This
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essay will discuss both views and give my opinion. On the one hand, many
people
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agree that
healthcare
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should be the first priority.
This
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is because if
people
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are not healthy, they cannot work or study well. Diseases can affect a person’s daily life and reduce their productivity.
Also
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, serious illnesses can make
people
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suffer and lower their quality of life.
For example
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, if hospitals are not well prepared, patients may not get the right treatment.
In addition
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, governments need to control birth and death rates through good
healthcare
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services.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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think other sectors are more important. Education is very important because it helps
people
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improve their knowledge and skills. A good education system can help the country develop.
Also
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, safety and security are necessary, and the Ministry of Interior plays a big role in protecting
people
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. Roads and transportation are
also
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important because
people
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use them every day. In my opinion,
healthcare
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should be the top priority, but other sectors should not be ignored. In conclusion, governments should try to balance their spending to meet all needs

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about health, education, safety, and roads, but the ideas are short.
task response
Give a clearer opinion. You say health should be first, but you do not explain enough why it should be above all other areas.
task response
Use one or two more clear examples. The hospital example is good, but the essay needs more real and clear support.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, so the reader can follow it.
coherence and cohesion
Linking is simple and works, but some points need more development before you move to the next idea.
coherence and cohesion
Make the last sentence stronger. The end says balance is needed, but it does not fully match your view that health should be first.
task response
You answer the question and discuss both views.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction tells the topic clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has one main side of the argument.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • health care
  • priority
  • government
  • spend
  • money
  • people
  • needs
  • budget
  • tax
  • fund
  • doctor
  • hospital
  • patient
  • care
  • disease
  • cost
  • value
  • plan
  • policy
  • education
  • roads
  • jobs
  • economy
  • balance
  • efficiency
  • prevention
  • treatment
  • access
  • fair
  • equal
  • system
  • waste
  • public
  • private
  • long term
  • short term
  • future
  • initiative
  • policy
  • allocation
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